Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is considered important that students should focus on formal learning in primary school. My take on this is that formal education is important but along with that we should also include other activities as well as these will nourish not only their mind and improves their mental health as well which will eventually will improves their overall wellbeing and enhances their scores as well.

If I were someone with the authority in primary school I'll definitely include activites which will improve the skills. Students learn from the games they play, they learn from their mistakes, face rejection and other important things and most importantly they help them to overcome social anxiousness and build confidence as well. One of my teacher used to say a student who plays in ground can face anything because he has experienced almost everyone. So, it's very important to include extra curricular activities in primary school.

Schools in my district strictly focus on syllabus and they want their students to get high grade and secure alomost full marks and in this game of numbers and competition with other schools they forget the wellbeing of a student. Student gets pressurised by the school, tition and even from parents at home. whenever students reaches home from school and tution, then parents will also say regise the homework or give us test of your syllabus and this is how an average student from my community spends his day. Now you have the idea of his hectic routine and you know how much it is important to include games and other meaningful and extra curricular activites at this stage of their life. There should be an equilibrium in their routine which will help them to thrive better in their lives and they will never be child again so it's their right as well to play and enjoy this part of their life along with studies.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: formal learning matters, but play and other activities should also be part of primary education. You address both questions by explaining the benefits of play and describing the pressure created by a strong focus on grades. The examples about learning from mistakes, building confidence, and a pupil’s busy routine make the response relevant. This meets the task well, though the two parts are not equally developed: the argument that schools focus too much on formal learning is mainly illustrated through your district, while the importance of classroom play could be explained more specifically, for example by showing how a game supports learning or social development. To strengthen the response further, develop these points with clearer cause-and-effect reasoning and a more precise example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall shape: it introduces your view, explains the benefits of activities, and then gives a local example of excessive academic pressure before concluding that children need balance. This progression helps the reader follow your argument. However, the second and third paragraphs contain several ideas in long sequences, so the links between them are sometimes less clear. For instance, the discussion moves from games and confidence to a teacher’s saying, then to extracurricular activities without fully explaining how each point supports the classroom question. Some linking phrases, such as “as well” and “and this is how,” are repeated or do not clearly signal the relationship between ideas. Use clearer topic sentences and divide the longer explanations into more focused steps.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary for education and child development, including “formal learning,” “wellbeing,” “confidence,” “competition,” and “hectic routine.” These choices communicate your main ideas, and phrases such as “game of numbers” add some personal expression. However, several word choices, collocations, and spellings are inaccurate or informal, which limits precision: “social anxiousness” is not the natural expression here, “secure almost full marks” is awkward, and “tition” and “activites” are misspelled. “Extra curricular” should be written as “extracurricular.” Aim for more precise academic phrasing and check spelling carefully. A broader set of terms for learning through play and academic pressure would also help you avoid repeating general words such as “important” and “activities.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including conditional phrasing (“If I were someone with the authority…”) and clauses explaining consequences. The overall meaning is generally understandable, but some errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction reduce accuracy. For example, “these will nourish not only their mind and improves their mental health” mixes verb forms and has unclear agreement; “which will eventually will improves” contains an unnecessary auxiliary and an incorrect verb form. In “One of my teacher,” the noun should be plural, and “whenever students reaches” has a subject–verb agreement error. Several sentences are also joined into lengthy chains, making punctuation and structure harder to control. Practise building accurate complex sentences, then check each clause for a clear subject and correctly formed verb.

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