Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some members of the society claim that schools for young children focus on formal learning. I have not agree with this opinion because I think formal learning is as important as physical learning. It is very significant thigh for children development. In my opinion, schools should adapt physical activity in their school.

Firstly, formal learning improve student reading and writing skill. Schools should includes new subject which makes focus on study so student teach new thighs and also help to understand important of academic study. Secondly, formal learning build a strong education foundation for students; therefor, education system cannot neglect for formal learning because it is quite necessary to become more concentration for children.

On the other hand, physical activity develop creative thinking and boost imagination thinking. It is create childhood development and improve social skill also build children mental and physical health. Outdoors activities help children to become more freely and children enjoy their self as a result they reduce academic pressure in their lives. Moreover, it is also contribute to interact and cooperation with other children so that it is teach children to understand teamwork and encourage brotherhood in students.

In conclusion, education management should acquire new subject and new skill in schools so young children understand meaning of study. It is create overall development in students lives so that is significant important. students are essential for maintain a balance education because academic knowledge and practical skill both are equally valuable for children growth. In present days students familiar for practical activities compare to academic knowledge.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both parts of the prompt: you reject the claim that formal learning receives too much attention, and you explain why play and physical activity matter. Your points about literacy, an educational foundation, creativity, social skills and teamwork are relevant. However, the position is not fully consistent: the opening says formal learning is as important as physical learning, while the conclusion says students are more familiar with practical activities than academic knowledge, without explaining how this supports your view. Several ideas, such as the benefits of formal subjects, are asserted rather than illustrated or developed. Clarify your overall extent of agreement and support key claims with a specific classroom example or explanation.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, a paragraph supporting formal learning, a contrasting paragraph on physical activity, and a conclusion. “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “On the other hand” help signal the main stages of the argument. However, some links are mechanical, and the progression within paragraphs is not always clear. For example, the first body paragraph moves from reading and writing to adding subjects and concentration without explaining the connections. In the final paragraph, the ideas about acquiring subjects, overall development, balance, and students’ familiarity with practical activities are difficult to follow as a single conclusion. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each supporting point explicitly to your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “education foundation,” “creative thinking,” “social skill,” and “teamwork.” This gives you enough language to communicate the main ideas. However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or unnatural, sometimes making the intended meaning unclear. Examples include “new thighs,” “more freely,” “encourage brotherhood,” and “significant important”; “physical learning” is also imprecise for the activities you describe. There are spelling errors such as “therefor,” and several phrases repeat general words such as “important” and “children.” Build accuracy by learning common word partnerships and choosing precise terms, such as “physical activity,” “social development,” and “cooperation.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a reason clause in “so that …” and a contrast introduced by “On the other hand.” The main ideas are generally understandable, but some grammatical errors recur and occasionally make relationships between ideas harder to interpret. For example, subject–verb agreement is incorrect in “formal learning improve” and “physical activity develop”; “I have not agree” uses the wrong verb form; and “schools should includes” has an incorrect form after a modal. There are also problems with articles, plurals, and sentence construction, as in “It is create childhood development.” Practise accurate present-tense agreement and modal patterns, then check each sentence for a clear subject and verb.

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