Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is often argued that formal learning is being focused much on the primary schools than other non-academic activities. I agree with this argument because children needs to learn social norms as well as they should have time for physical activities.

Children are the next generation. The primary education stage is the time when children learns new things and grow their social expressiveness. Social norms are not learnt from closed environment rather it needs participation of other children, parents, teachers and every people of the society. Children should know about social norms because it makes them willing to help other people from an young age. For example, a child may see his classmate fall while playing and yet he might not help him rather laugh at him. He should help him to stand up and ensure that his friend is good.This is something formal learning cannot teach. Secondly, children should be encouraged to participate in sports from an early age for the physical and mental wellbeing. Thirdly, students should be encouraged to try hard for achieving their goals. This ensures perseverance and ambition from a young age.

Moreover, formal education is needed for children as knowledge is to be gained. The knowledge helps them to know about new aspects of the world. Formal education ensures that a student is gaining the amount of knowledge that they should have for the upcoming times. This makes their academic pillar stronger.

In the conclusion, not only formal education is needed for the children for their academic betterment but also the norm, health and non-academic education is a must. This have a child grow up in a better and secure environment for themselves.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both parts of the question and maintain a clear position: formal learning is important, but children also need social and physical development. The example of helping a classmate who falls makes the point about learning social behaviour relevant and concrete. You also mention sport, perseverance and the value of academic knowledge. However, these ideas are not developed equally. The points about sport and goal-setting are asserted briefly, without explaining how classroom play supports them, and the discussion does not clearly distinguish play from other non-academic activities. To strengthen the response, explain more directly how play can complement formal lessons and give a specific example of a classroom activity that achieves this.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on social and physical development, a paragraph supporting formal education, and a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “Secondly,” “Thirdly,” and “Moreover” help signal the sequence of points. However, the progression within the main paragraph is somewhat list-like, moving from social norms to sport and then ambition without showing how these ideas connect. Some references are also unclear, as in “This ensures perseverance,” where “This” could refer to several preceding ideas. The conclusion repeats the main contrast but does not fully draw the discussion together. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each supporting example explicitly to the central argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “social norms,” “physical activities,” “wellbeing,” “perseverance,” and “academic pillar.” These choices show an attempt to discuss both personal development and formal education. However, several phrases are awkward or imprecise, such as “being focused much on the primary schools,” “social expressiveness,” and “the amount of knowledge that they should have.” Some repetition of “children,” “formal education,” and “knowledge” also limits the range. Aim for more natural collocations and precise terms, such as describing schools as “placing too much emphasis on formal instruction” or referring to “social skills.” This would make your meaning smoother and more exact without requiring unnecessarily complex vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrast with “not only … but also” and a relative clause in “a child may see his classmate fall.” Most ideas remain understandable, but some errors in agreement, articles and sentence construction reduce accuracy. For example, “children needs” and “children learns” should use plural verb forms, while “an young age” needs the correct article. The opening sentence also has an awkward structure, and “This have a child grow up” is grammatically unclear. Punctuation is occasionally inconsistent, as in the missing space after “good.” Review subject–verb agreement and article use, then check that each sentence has a clear, complete structure.

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