Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Many people believe that primary schools focus significantly on formal teaching. In my opinion, I agree that teaching in primary schools should not be too formal. However, play time also plays a role in child's growth. It is important for childern to play as well as learn and this can be done as a combined subject.

Firstly, focusing on just formal learning is considered boring by the childern and the parents. For example, childern will not be excited to come to schools anymore because for them their with be no fun activities. Moreover, formal learning will feel like a task that they just have to complete. Thus, it will limit their brain activity and this can cause troublesome abnormal behaviour in childern.

Secondly, giving the same importance to play and learning can help childern perform better in daily tasks. Learning through play can help in the development of the cognitive skills of childern. Moreover, play time motivates them to do difficult tasks. For instance, a child might struggle with learning numbers but by combining learning and play they will develop an interest. It will teach childern that no matter how hard a task may look we can always try and overcome our problems.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that primary schools should introduce learning methods that include of play and learning. As well as, letting childern explore their ideas in their own ways. It will shape childern physically and mentally by teaching them the significance role of behaviour, grooming, and mind skills.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you agree that primary teaching should not be overly formal, and you explain that play should be combined with learning. Both parts of the prompt are addressed, with relevant points about children’s motivation, cognitive development and persistence. The example of learning numbers through play helps make one point more concrete. However, some claims are asserted rather than explained—for example, that formal learning limits brain activity and may cause abnormal behaviour. The importance of play in the classroom could also be developed with a more specific example of an activity and what children learn from it. This gives the response a solid, relevant answer, while fuller explanation and support would make the ideas more convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting reasons, and a conclusion. The progression from the possible drawbacks of formal-only teaching to the benefits of combining play and learning is easy to follow. You use signposts such as “Firstly,” “Moreover,” “Secondly,” and “In conclusion” to guide the reader. At times, however, the linking feels mechanical, and some connections between claims are not fully explained. For instance, the move from formal learning feeling like a task to limiting brain activity is abrupt. The conclusion also introduces exploring ideas independently without developing that point earlier. Use fewer formulaic transitions and make the relationship between each claim and its supporting explanation more explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “cognitive skills,” “motivates,” and “development,” and the main ideas remain understandable. There is some attempt to use more academic language, but word choice and collocation are not consistently natural. Phrases such as “plays a role in child’s growth,” “combined subject,” and “significance role” are awkward or unclear, while “troublesome abnormal behaviour” is imprecise. The repeated use of “children” and “play” also limits variety, and “childern” is misspelled several times. Aim for accurate, natural combinations such as “supports children’s development” and “integrate play into lessons”; check spelling and choose precise terms rather than adding formal-sounding words.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses with “because,” “that,” and “but,” and the overall meaning is generally clear. However, errors in sentence construction and grammatical forms recur. For example, “in child’s growth” needs a possessive determiner, and “because for them their with be no fun activities” has an unclear clause structure and incorrect verb form. The conclusion’s “As well as, letting children explore…” is a fragment, and “include of play and learning” uses an incorrect grammatical pattern. These issues sometimes make the reader pause, even though the intended message can usually be recovered. Practise complete sentence formation, possessives, and verb patterns, then proofread each sentence for a clear subject and verb.

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