Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

School life play a vital role in a person life. Many people thinks that early year of study mainly concern about academic study. I firmly believe that sport activities should be include to primary school. Because it helps a child to have a relex time after a hactic routine.

Student life is the seedtime. This is the time when we develop our skills and knowledge most. student felt trap to the monotony of life. The main reason of those negative feelings are the pressure of academic study. Everyone only focus on the academic reasults rather than the real growth. Student often get frustrated and even comitte suicide for a disapoint reasult. They were told by everyone that reasult is the only way to be successfull.

However , it is very important to add sport activities along with study so that student can have a escape time to relex. Sports are also beneficial for health. It helps us keep fit body and contri

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You take a clear position in favour of including sport and play, and you give relevant reasons: children need a break from academic pressure, and sport supports health. The point that pressure can lead to frustration also shows an attempt to explain why formal learning should not dominate. However, the response addresses the task only partially: it does not clearly discuss how much primary schools focus on formal learning, and it gives little explanation of the importance of play within classroom learning. The example about students committing suicide is serious but is asserted rather than supported or carefully connected to primary-aged children. The response is also 88 words below the required minimum, leaving the ideas substantially underdeveloped. Add a direct answer to both questions and develop each reason with a relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some organisation: the opening states your view, the next paragraph explains academic pressure, and “However” introduces the case for sport. This gives the reader a basic sense of direction. However, the progression is limited, and the final paragraph ends abruptly at “contri”, so the argument has no conclusion. Connections between ideas are sometimes unclear; for example, “Student life is the seedtime” is not explained before the discussion moves to monotony and pressure. Linking words are few and sometimes awkwardly punctuated, as in “However ,”. To improve, use a clear introduction, separate paragraphs for each main reason, and a conclusion that restates your position. Add linking phrases that show cause, contrast, and example, while making sure each sentence follows logically from the previous one.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “academic study”, “monotony”, “pressure”, “frustrated”, and “beneficial for health”. These choices help communicate your main concerns, and “seedtime” shows an attempt to use a less common expression. However, the range is limited and several spelling or word-choice errors make parts difficult to understand, such as “relex”, “hactic”, “reasults”, and “disapoint”. Some phrases are also unnatural or imprecise, including “have a escape time” and “keep fit body”. Aim to use accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully. You could also broaden the vocabulary by naming forms of play and their benefits, such as cooperative games, creativity, social skills, and concentration.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both short statements and a complex sentence, for example, “Because it helps a child to have a relex time after a hactic routine.” However, this is a dependent clause used as a sentence, and the response relies mostly on simple structures. Frequent errors in agreement, articles, and verb forms can make the meaning harder to follow: “School life play” should use a singular verb, “Many people thinks” has incorrect agreement, and “sport activities should be include” has an incorrect passive form. There are also problems with sentence boundaries and punctuation, including the fragment beginning “Because” and the space before the comma in “However ,”. Practise accurate basic sentence patterns first, then add controlled clauses using “because”, “while”, and “which”.

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