Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, some individuals argue that primary schools should stay as formal as they are now. Meanwhile, other people think that can be detrimental and harmful for the children.

I completely agree with the fact that primary schools focus too much on stricte learning, I believe that this trend may have a lot of drawbacks and negative aspects both on their mental and health. Since, it can let them experience more stress and pressure, they may spent less time with their friends and family on doing outdoor activitie, due to the fact that they could have busy schedules. As a result, if primary schools focus too much on formal learning, children may be affected and do not have enough time to enjoy and relaxe with their entourage.

I strongly believe that children should play as well as they learn in the primary schools classroom and that this will be important for their future opportunities. To begin with, they will have more social interactions and may be able to creat connexion easily with people. For this reason this may help theme to be more productive and will not be exhausted of studying. In addition, if primary schools have less formal learning, the kids will be able to take time to practice sports and their other hobbies. Because they will have more free time and be more relaxed and peaceful.

In cnclusion, ther are several reasons why some people think that schools should be formal. However, I believe that if they are less stricte and children have more free time it can be better for both of their health and future.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you agree that primary schools place too much emphasis on formal learning, and you address the importance of play by mentioning social interaction, sports and hobbies. These points are relevant, but they are mostly asserted rather than explained or supported with a specific example. For instance, you say play can help children “create connexion” and become more productive, but do not show how classroom play develops these outcomes. The discussion of the opposing view is also brief: the conclusion refers to why some people support formal schooling without explaining their reasons. Develop each main idea with a concrete example and clarify how play can complement, rather than replace, learning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the main position is generally easy to follow. You also use signposting such as “To begin with” and “In addition” to introduce points. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear, and several linking phrases feel mechanical or do not connect ideas smoothly. For example, “Since, it can let them experience more stress” is an awkwardly attached explanation, while “For this reason this may help theme” repeats the link without making the relationship precise. The conclusion introduces the opposing view rather than neatly summarising the argument. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each explanation directly to its supporting point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of relevant vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “stress and pressure,” “social interactions,” and “future opportunities,” so the reader can understand the main ideas. However, the range is limited by repetition of general terms such as “important,” “more free time” and “better,” and several word-choice, collocation and spelling errors reduce precision. Examples include “stricte learning,” “outdoor activitie,” “create connexion,” and “exhausted of studying.” Some expressions, such as “their entourage,” are not natural in this context. Aim for accurate, topic-specific phrases and check spelling and collocations; this will make your ideas clearer and more convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including conditional structures such as “if primary schools focus too much on formal learning” and “if primary schools have less formal learning.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors occur often enough to make some sentences difficult to read. For example, “they may spent less time” has an incorrect verb form, and “children may be affected and do not have enough time” does not maintain a consistent structure. The sentence beginning “Since” is also incomplete or awkwardly joined to the previous idea. Review verb forms, sentence boundaries, and parallel structures, and proofread punctuation. Building accurate shorter sentences before adding subordinate clauses will improve clarity.

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