Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

There is a big controversial argument that primary schools focus too much on formal learning and these situation mostly occurs in our Indian education system where student compete with each other in academics. I feel like schools don't appreciate the value of physical activity. Even formal learning is beneficial till some extent but they should not completely focus on it .

From my experience, i have gone through this events in my schooling days where our curriculum mostly consist of theoretical subjects and majority of my teachers trained us like robots where we learned data and complete assignments. They have forcefully made us feel like achieving good grades in subjects is equal to being successful in life . Nowadays, education institutions have become a place to generate profits. They are not investing in sports facilities like equipment or grounds as it requires huge funds to maintain it.

According to my assumption, the reason why schools focus too much on formal learning is because of the competitive exams to get admission in professional studies. Although majority of the parents wants their children to enroll them into good programs from better universities , to achieve this target, they have to go through competitive exams which creates a huge pressure on students mentally.

However, parents and school forgets the fact that students are children and to cope with the stress they need games to relieve their stress. In my opinion, i feel like playing games is beneficial for them as it links to creativity and productivity . Additionally, it creates a crucial role in creating refluxes and those refluxes can boost their creativity in stressful situations .

Overall, primary schools should give equal importance to games or physical activity as it can create wider opportunities in other careers as well. They should increase the credits of sports in primary school and invest heavily in this field. Moreover, it can help students identify their talent .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you agree that schools give too much emphasis to formal study and argue that play and physical activity deserve greater importance. You address both the focus on academic learning and the value of play, using personal experience and competitive examinations to explain the pressure on pupils. The examples about limited sports facilities and stress are relevant, but some points are asserted rather than fully explained. For instance, the claim that sports can create “wider opportunities in other careers” would be stronger with a specific example of how play develops skills or opens career paths. The discussion also focuses mainly on sport, while explaining more directly how classroom play supports learning would complete the response more fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: it introduces your view, develops the causes of academic pressure, explains the benefits of play, and ends with recommendations. Paragraphs generally have clear purposes, and linking expressions such as “Although,” “However,” and “Overall” help signal relationships between ideas. Some connections are less smooth or precise, however. The transition from schools’ profit motives to competitive examinations introduces a new cause without clearly showing how the two relate. In addition, “those reflexes” is an unclear reference, and the final paragraph repeats the call to value sport without adding much development. To strengthen progression, make each paragraph’s main point explicit and use references that clearly identify the idea being discussed.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “competitive exams,” “sports facilities,” “relieve their stress,” and “identify their talent.” There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “investing in sports facilities” and “professional studies.” However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or awkward, which limits precision: “big controversial argument,” “trained us like robots,” “creates a crucial role,” and “creating refluxes” do not express the intended ideas naturally. “Refluxes” appears to be the wrong word for the skills or responses you mean. Spelling and word-form control also need attention, as in “academics” where “academic subjects” is intended. Build a bank of natural topic collocations and check each word against its meaning in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses beginning with “Although” and “because,” and most of your meaning remains understandable. However, errors in agreement, tense, articles, and sentence construction recur. For example, “these situation mostly occurs” has mismatched number and agreement, while “majority of the parents wants” also needs a plural verb. In “They have forcefully made us feel,” the tense does not fit the past schooling experience, and “parents and school forgets” has an agreement error. Some sentences also contain awkward or incomplete structures, such as “Although majority of the parents wants their children to enroll them into good programs.” Review subject–verb agreement and ensure subordinate clauses connect to a complete main clause; more accurate control of these patterns would make your varied sentences clearer.

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