Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is often argued that primary schools emphasize very much on academics. I strongly agree with this opinion because they provide extra academic tasks to pupils on the daily basis. It is extremely important for the children to play along with their primary studies because it gives them a chance to build their teamwork skills.

Primary schools give more tasks to learners in their everyday learning schedule. This means that children do classwork as well as homework tasks. As a result, students even do not find leisure time on the weekends to relax their minds. For instance, in Pakistani schoolroom, children are given heavy work in their classes, which often makes pressure on the students to focus only on studies. Admittedly, formal education is important to make a strong foundation in the early ages of children. However, institutions should not only pay attention to academics but also on the extra-currcular activities.

It is significantly important for the learners to build teamwork skills in their primary schools by playing. This is because it is very essential for the pupils to give them a chance to relax and interact with their classmates. As a consequence, they will learn how to build teanwork skills. For instance, when a group of students participate in the sports competition, they can perform better if they had built these skills during their classrooms by playing. This demonstrates that how crucial is playing in addition to academics in schools for the learners.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that schools should not only prioritize academics, they should also focus on the importance of playing in schools since they build the teamwork skills at the young age in the students.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you strongly agree that primary schools place too much emphasis on formal learning, and you address both the balance between academics and play and the value of play. The examples about homework and Pakistani classrooms support your concern, while the sports example links play to teamwork. However, some ideas are less fully developed than others. The claim that pupils lack weekend leisure is relevant, but you could explain more specifically how this affects their wellbeing or learning. Likewise, teamwork is the main benefit discussed; adding another outcome, such as communication or problem-solving, would make your response more complete. Explain what a better balance of classroom time would look like to strengthen your argument further.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, separate paragraphs on academic pressure and play, and a conclusion that restates your view. This logical progression makes the main argument easy to follow. You also use linking expressions such as “As a result,” “However,” and “For instance” to show relationships between ideas. To make the cohesion more flexible, avoid relying on similar cause-and-effect transitions repeatedly, and connect each example more explicitly to the point it supports. For example, after describing the sports competition, explain directly how classroom play helps pupils cooperate in that setting. The phrase “This demonstrates that how crucial…” is also an awkward link; a more direct concluding sentence would improve the flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal education,” “foundation,” “leisure time,” and “teamwork skills,” and your meaning is generally clear. There are, however, noticeable problems with word choice, collocation, word form, and spelling that limit precision. For example, “emphasize very much on academics” is not a natural collocation, and “makes pressure on the students” would be better expressed with a standard phrase such as “puts pressure on students.” The misspellings “extra-currcular” and “teanwork” also need correction. Some repetition of “students,” “learners,” and “skills” could be reduced by using more precise alternatives. Aim for natural combinations of words rather than translating phrases directly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “because,” “which,” and “when.” Most sentences communicate your ideas, and the errors do not generally prevent understanding. Some grammatical problems remain, particularly with articles, sentence patterns, and verb forms. For example, “on the daily basis” needs the article “a,” while “they will learn how to build teamwork skills” follows an unclear reference to “a chance.” In “if they had built these skills,” the past perfect does not fit the general hypothetical meaning; use a form such as “if they have developed these skills.” The construction “This demonstrates that how crucial is playing” also needs a statement word order: “This demonstrates how crucial playing is.” Review these patterns while retaining your range of sentence types.

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