Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some people hold the belief that there is extreme focus on formal teachings by the primary schools, while other people adverse to it and think that playing is equally important for students at that time. Although formal education is substantial for child, I believe physical activity also plays a significant role in the early stages of life. Therefore, I partially agree with this statement.

At the outset, the most plausible reason for my opinion is their physical development and overall growth. Playing not only The children at a primary schenhance their physical fitness, but also enforce the learnings such as obeying rules and accepting failures. This will lead to build good qualities such as cooperative nature, sportsmenship among students. Anothe significant factor is their recreation . The primary students do not required high academic pressure and can easily make time for playing. This will help them in unwinding their mind and get back to studies with a fresh mind. By playing, they can better understand the concepts and it could help them retain that things for long time. For instance, if a child is learning new concepts for straight 4 hours , he will get tired and can not grasp that concepts, but if he took a little break it can help him.

On the other hand, formal education is also compulsory for the primary students. As learning from an early age, can really support them in future. They can eastablish good fundamentals and learn the concepts easily in the early age. Thus, it will ultimately help them in their futue ,while building careers. For example, a child who learns the basic multiplication and other alphabets would easily understand complex topics in future. Therefore, it helps them in their cognitive development as well as their learning experiences.

In Conclusion, I understand the importance of formal education, but it seemd to me that playing is also equally important. Thus, these two things could go hand in hand, to ensure mental and physical development of the children.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you partially agree that formal learning receives too much emphasis, while arguing that play and academic learning should coexist. You address both questions by explaining benefits of play—physical development, cooperation, recreation and improved concentration—and the value of early academic foundations. The multiplication example supports the latter point, and the example of a child studying for several hours illustrates fatigue. However, some ideas are asserted rather than fully explained: for instance, the claim that play helps children retain concepts would benefit from a specific classroom example. The discussion also does not directly establish whether primary schools currently focus too much on formal learning. More explicit evaluation of this claim and fuller development of selected examples would make the response more complete and persuasive.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs on play and formal education, and a conclusion that restates the balanced position. Linking expressions such as “At the outset,” “On the other hand,” and “In Conclusion” help signal the stages of the argument. The overall progression is understandable, but some connections are mechanical or unclear. For example, “This will lead to build good qualities” does not clearly connect the preceding point about rules and accepting failure to the qualities listed. The play paragraph also moves from physical development to recreation and then learning retention without sufficiently guiding the reader through those shifts. Use clearer topic sentences and more precise references, and connect each supporting example explicitly to the paragraph’s main claim.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of topic-related vocabulary, including “physical development,” “formal education,” “cognitive development,” and “fundamentals.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, and some less common terms show an effort to express concepts beyond basic vocabulary. However, inaccurate word choice, collocation and spelling are noticeable and sometimes make the meaning less natural: “people adverse to it,” “enforce the learnings,” “sportsmenship,” and “eastablish” are examples. Phrases such as “extreme focus on formal teachings” and “unwinding their mind” also sound awkward in this context. Aim for more natural academic combinations and check spelling and word forms carefully. Greater precision in describing classroom learning and the benefits of play would strengthen the vocabulary range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including a concession in the introduction (“Although formal education is substantial…”) and a conditional example about taking a break from study. The main ideas are generally understandable, but some grammatical errors recur and occasionally interrupt the flow. Examples include “Playing not only The children at a primary schenhance…” (a sentence that appears to have been corrupted), “The primary students do not required,” and “As learning from an early age, can really support them in future.” There are also issues with articles, agreement and sentence construction, as in “it seemd to me” and “a child who learns… would easily understand.” Review verb forms and build complex sentences around a clear subject and main verb. More consistently accurate sentence patterns would make your argument easier to follow.

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