Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some individuals contradict that pre-schools relay alot on formal learning methods. Schools should keep a balance of formal learning with other co-curricular activities, as it is crucial for the development of children.

Pre-schools plays a vital role in building charecter of a student. In the growing age, children learn new things from their surroundings everyday. I persume pouring a lot of burden on a young mind is not feasible for their development. For example, my friend's son told her that he doesn't want to go to school since there are no activities and he is fed-up of reading the old course books. The main reason of this his school put a lot of pressure on the child's brain that he have no motivation in going to school. The school should focus in teaching the students with the help of stories, and play so that children enjoy and learn with those activities.

In addition to this, entertainment and educational activities both are crucial and have equal importance in the life of a child. Promoting co-curricular activities in school not only motivate students, but also encourages them to focus on a healthy routine. I believe in learn through play method. In contrast to this, my toddler goes in a school which emphasize on learning with play. They teach children with different activities, which boosts their comminucation skills and confidence. I beleive that children who grow up in such environment succeed in their career.

In conclusion, schools make the foundation of the career of a student. I beleive that schools should arrange more activities for students it will help them to groom and succeed.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: primary schools should balance formal learning with play and other activities. You address both whether formal learning is overemphasised and the importance of play, and the examples about your friend’s son and your toddler’s school make the discussion relevant. The explanation that activities can build communication skills and confidence is a useful supporting point. However, some ideas are less fully developed than others: the claim that children in play-based environments will “succeed in their career” is broad and would benefit from a clearer explanation or evidence. Also, the opening refers to “pre-schools,” while the question concerns primary schools; keep the focus consistent and explain more precisely what formal learning should be balanced with.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. The paragraphs generally group related ideas, and signposts such as “In addition to this” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the progression. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. “In contrast to this” does not clearly signal a contrast with the preceding point, and the sentence beginning “The main reason of this” has an unclear reference. The conclusion repeats the recommendation to arrange more activities but does not bring together the main reasons. To strengthen progression, make each paragraph’s central point explicit, use pronouns with clear references, and connect examples directly to the claim they support.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “co-curricular activities,” “development,” “communication skills” and “confidence.” These choices allow you to discuss both academic and broader benefits of classroom activities. However, spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable, including “alot,” “charecter,” “persume,” “comminucation” and “beleive.” Some expressions are also imprecise or unnatural, such as “pouring a lot of burden on a young mind” and “groom and succeed.” Aim for accurate spelling and more natural collocations, and choose terms that match the task: “primary schools” is more appropriate than repeatedly referring to “pre-schools.” This would make your ideas clearer and more precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “since,” “that” and “which,” and most of your meaning remains understandable. Some grammatical errors nevertheless occur across the response. For example, “Pre-schools plays” has a subject–verb agreement error, while “he have no motivation” should use the correct verb form. In “my toddler goes in a school which emphasize,” the relative clause needs agreement with “school,” and the sentence also has an awkward preposition pattern. Punctuation and sentence boundaries need attention in the conclusion: “schools should arrange more activities for students it will help them” joins two independent clauses without suitable punctuation or a linking word. Review agreement, verb forms and clause boundaries.

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