Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Primary schools focus on too much on formal learning in the past era but with evolving world and technology, everything is changing. Even the teaching style in schools shifted from totally formal to digital and with extra-curricular activities as well. So, I do not agree with this opinion.

First of all, it is of much importance that children should also play along with formal studies, as body of this age requires physical activity. More they will play, more their body and mind will be active. We can see in today's world that some of the primary schools still focus on formal learning instead of extra-curricular activities. Their focus is totally to generate money-making machines instead of compatible learners. While other schools tries their best to give some of the time for extra-curricular activities in order to enhance their other skills as well, one of them is in my area named as Lahore Grammer School where students get a specific time for their playing activities and even the teachers motivates their students to get a part in some of the activities like speeching to enhance students confidence at very young age.

Secondly, playing along with studies keeps students fresh even for 6-7 shift of school as well. But beside this I have dozens of similar example of such primary schools where students get a specific time to play daily. Even my experience with my primary school was somewhat same as well. I got enough time to play along with studies. My teachers motivated me to give speeches even some of my teachers used to play cricket with us.

Hence, the believe which says that primary schools do not put a focus beside formal learning is totally of old school thought. Because, at present everyone can see such schools even very near to their homes who provide extra time for their students to play.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you disagree that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and you explain that play supports children’s physical and mental activity. You address both questions by discussing the value of play and giving examples from a local school and your own primary-school experience. These examples make the response relevant, but some points are asserted rather than fully explained. For instance, the claim that schools aim to create “money-making machines” is strong but not supported, and the point about staying fresh during a “6-7 shift” is unclear. To develop the response further, explain more precisely how classroom play complements formal learning and why the balance differs between schools.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs signalled by “First of all” and “Secondly,” and a concluding statement. The examples generally follow the points they are intended to support, so the overall arrangement is understandable. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow because several ideas are crowded into long sentences, particularly the discussion of Lahore Grammar School. Some linking is mechanical, and “But beside this” does not clearly show the relationship between the ideas that follow. The conclusion repeats the main position rather than drawing together the reasons. Use clearer sentence boundaries and make each paragraph develop one main point in a more deliberate sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of relevant vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “extra-curricular activities,” “enhance,” and “motivated,” which helps communicate your main ideas. There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “compatible learners,” but this phrase does not convey the intended meaning clearly. Several word choices and collocations are unnatural or imprecise, including “body of this age,” “money-making machines,” “give a part,” and “the believe.” “Speeching” is also not the appropriate word for giving speeches. These choices sometimes make the reader pause, although the overall message remains understandable. Aim for natural collocations and check word forms and spelling; precise, straightforward vocabulary will be more effective than ambitious but unclear phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “as” and “in order to,” and the main message is generally clear. However, some grammatical errors recur in agreement, articles, and sentence construction. For example, “other schools tries” should have a plural verb, while “the teachers motivates” needs a plural verb as well. The opening phrase “focus on too much on” has an incorrect structure, and “the believe which says” has an article and noun-form problem. Some sentences are also joined in ways that make their structure hard to follow, especially the long sentence about the local school. Review subject–verb agreement and build complex sentences around a clear main clause, using punctuation to separate complete ideas.

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