Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Few individuals accept that elementary school pay attention too much on class-room based learning. Students should learn new things and also should play and learnd new different things in school.

First of all, young children cannot concentrate for long time, they cannot sit on one place for usually two or three hours. If they have to sit for two or three hours to learn maths and different subjects they should loss attention on studies which is very important and they fell tied and bored. If teacher teaches the students with same method on daily basis, they lost interest in studies and focus on other activities because of feeling bored. On the other hand, if students learn new things while playing and using different activities, it should be very beneficial of them. For instance, if teacher want to teach the counting they should use different method and teach them while playing.

Secondly, play helps children to learn new things and new activities, playing with other children they should able to learn patience, new games, and also ability to wait for their turn and how to deal with other people, also how to share and solve problem with friends. They should learn new abilities which is not possible to learn from the books, that’s why it very important to play with friend it also healt to maintain health.

In conclusion, I would like to say school should not be focus too much on formal learning but they should arrange some sports and playing systems for children for maintain their health and they should aslo focus and concentrate on their studies.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both parts of the question: you argue that primary schools should not focus only on formal learning, and explain why play matters. The points about children’s limited concentration and learning counting through play are relevant, while your second paragraph adds social benefits such as sharing, patience and taking turns. These examples make your position clear. However, some ideas are asserted rather than fully explained—for instance, the claim that play helps maintain health is not developed, and the conclusion mainly repeats your view. To strengthen the response, explain how a specific classroom activity supports learning or social development, and make the extent of your agreement more explicit from the introduction onward.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs organised with “First of all” and “Secondly,” and a conclusion. The ideas generally progress from attention and classroom methods to social skills, so the reader can follow your main argument. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. For example, “On the other hand” does not clearly signal a contrast, and the long sentence listing patience, games, waiting, dealing with others and sharing would be easier to follow if divided and linked more precisely. The conclusion also introduces sports and health without developing that point earlier. Use linking phrases to show the exact relationship between ideas, and make pronoun references clearer.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “formal learning,” “concentrate,” “activities,” “patience” and “solve problem.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which sometimes makes the meaning less natural. Examples include “pay attention too much on,” “loss attention,” “fell tied,” and “it also healt to maintain health.” There are also spelling and word-form errors such as “learnd,” “aslo” and “class-room.” Aim to learn common phrases as complete units and check spelling and word forms during revision. More precise terms such as “sustain attention,” “lose interest” and “social skills” would help express your ideas clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “If they have to sit for two or three hours…” and a sentence explaining what children learn through playing with others. This gives the response some structural variety, and the main message is usually understandable. However, errors in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence construction occur in several places. For example, “elementary school pay attention” needs a plural subject or a singular verb, while “they should loss attention” uses the wrong verb form. The sentence beginning “playing with other children” also lacks a clear grammatical structure and runs through several ideas. Practise checking subject–verb agreement and verb forms, and divide long sentences into shorter, complete clauses.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.