Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some people contend that formal learning is the main focus of primary schools. I totally agree with this opinion. I think extra-curricular activites like playing sports are equally important for better mental and physical growth of children. This essay discusses the given opinion and suitable examples to support my views.

Nobody can underestimate the importance of training of early education of children in classroom. This is the place where teacher built the base of knowledge. They start with alphabets and combine them to make words and then use these words to complete a sentence. This base is not possible without regular training in classroom. Even keeping in view the importance of formal training and learning, their proper healthy growth is not possible without physical activites on regular basis. When primary schools focus too much on formal learning in classrooms, there are maximum chance of children getting tired and bored. This limit their attention and interest in class as they tired too quickly. This is the reason why some people argue that primary schools do the unnecessary focus on formal learning.

Physical activities like sports days, color days, magic shows play an important role to keep the, relaxed and entertained. Moreover, these activities keep their minds fresh and they pay more attention in class. These activites should be planned and scheduled in calendar. The government should play their role here by organising district level tournaments and ensure the participation of school students. This may shine unattended skills of young children and may lead to make them the professional athelete of renowed games like table tennis or football. This is just a one example. Schools should arrange outdoor trips to beautiful places like parks, hills, lakes to give their students an extraordinary experience of lifetime. Hence, extra-curricular activities like play, tours, function / events are vital and have an equal importance as formal learning.

In conclusion, plays, outings and other beneficial activities are also important for healthy early development of children alongwith education in classroom. I am standing with the opinion argued by some people that schools focus too much on formal learning. Yes, formal learning is important but ignoring physical acitvities, it will not benefit the children.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you agree that primary schools place too much emphasis on formal learning, while also arguing that play and other activities are equally important. You address both questions and give relevant examples, including sports, school events and outdoor trips. The explanation that classroom learning builds a foundation, but prolonged formal lessons can leave children tired and bored, is a relevant line of reasoning. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained: for example, the proposed district tournaments and the possibility of becoming a professional athlete are not clearly connected to the broader value of classroom play. Develop the educational and developmental benefits of play more directly, and clarify how much formal learning is excessive.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a coherent overall structure: an introduction states your view, the body paragraphs explain formal learning and extracurricular activities, and the conclusion restates your position. Ideas generally progress in a sensible order, and linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “Hence” and “In conclusion” help guide the reader. Some cohesion is mechanical, however, because several sentences begin with broad signposts or repeat the same contrast between formal learning and activities. References are occasionally unclear, as in “This limit their attention” and “keep the, relaxed,” where the reader must infer the intended subject or missing word. Use pronouns with clear antecedents and connect examples more explicitly to the point they illustrate to make the progression smoother.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate your ideas, including “formal learning,” “physical activities,” “participation” and “development.” There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “district level tournaments” and “professional athlete.” However, noticeable spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision: “activites,” “athelete” and “renowed” are misspelled, while “shine unattended skills” and “do the unnecessary focus” are unnatural combinations. Some wording is also repetitive, particularly “activities” and “important.” Aim for accurate collocations and check spelling carefully; for instance, explain that activities can “help identify hidden talents” rather than “shine unattended skills.” A broader range of precise terms for play-based learning and child development would make the argument more fluent and natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a conditional structure in “When primary schools focus too much … there are maximum chance…” and a subordinate clause beginning “Even keeping in view…”. The main ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. Examples include subject–verb agreement in “teacher built” and “This limit,” number agreement in “there are maximum chance,” and missing or incorrect articles in “a one example.” The final sentence, “Yes, formal learning is important but ignoring physical activities, it will not benefit the children,” has an unclear grammatical connection between its opening phrase and main clause. Practise agreement, articles and sentence construction, and proofread punctuation. More consistently accurate complex sentences would strengthen control.

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