Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Education plays a major role in the society today. However, some people believe that lower school concentrates alot on formal learning. I acknowledge how formal education is important in equiping children with knowledge for specialised skills for future, but I strongly disagree this opinion. I think it is important for children to play as well as learn at school in that it promote healthy living and improve concentration level among the children.

To begin, formal education can promote diseases such as obesity in that children will concentrate more on learning tasks instead of participating on physical excercise activities such as sports which promotes fitness. This can make them more suspectible to lifestyle disease. Furthermore , formal learning can lead to reduced concentration level among the children, thus affecting their academic perfomance. For intance, a child staying in the class the whole day without engaging in co-corriculum will get tired easly and starts to loose focus hence bring a negative impact on their academic results.

To conclude, it is crucial for children to play as well as learning at school to promote healthy living and increased concentration levels thus leading to overall improved performance. Hence schools should incorporate these activities in the corriculum.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You state a clear position: you disagree that primary schools focus too much on formal learning and believe play should accompany lessons. You also give relevant reasons, linking physical activity with health and classroom variety with concentration. However, the response does not fully develop either part of the question: it gives little explanation of what formal learning currently involves or how play can be integrated into classroom learning, and the example remains general. The response is 194 words, 56 words below the required minimum; the eight words copied from the prompt were not counted. This shortfall limits the space available to explain and support your ideas. Develop each reason with a specific example and address both questions more fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, a paragraph beginning “To begin,” and a conclusion. The ideas generally follow a sensible order: you introduce your view, explain possible effects of formal learning, and restate your recommendation. Linking expressions such as “Furthermore,” “For instance,” and “To conclude” help signal these stages. However, the body paragraph combines health and concentration without clearly separating or fully developing them, and the example’s connection to the claim about academic performance could be made more explicit. Some transitions feel mechanical, while the conclusion mostly repeats the introduction. Use separate, focused paragraphs for your main reasons and connect each example directly to the point it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary for the topic, including “formal education,” “specialised skills,” “physical exercise,” “concentration level,” and “academic performance.” These choices make your main meaning understandable. However, several spelling errors and imprecise or unnatural combinations reduce accuracy, including “alot,” “suspectible,” “co-corriculum,” and “loose focus.” Phrases such as “promote diseases” and “participating on physical exercise activities” are also not natural in this context. Aim for accurate collocations and check spelling carefully; for example, describe inactivity as increasing the risk of obesity, and say that pupils participate in physical activities. More precise vocabulary would help you express the health and learning effects clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a concession in “I acknowledge how formal education is important …, but I strongly disagree” and a cause-and-effect structure beginning “For instance.” Most of the argument remains understandable, but errors in sentence construction and agreement occur in several places. For example, “it promote healthy living” needs subject–verb agreement, and “a child … will get tired … and starts to loose focus” shifts verb form within the same construction. The phrase “I strongly disagree this opinion” also lacks the required grammatical pattern. Review agreement, parallel verb forms, and verb patterns such as “disagree with an opinion.” Vary sentence structures while keeping each sentence controlled and clear.

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