Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Formal learning is considered to be the main goal of primary schools. In my opinion, the statement is not true. I think, the children should be given opportunities to play in the primary school classroom as it is very important for their mental and physical growth.

The time during primary school is the most important phase for a child's growth both mentally and physically. As far as my observation, primary school students are given ample opportunities to grow physically during their school time. Competitions are arranged for the students to increase their interest in sports. But the opportunities vary school to school. Schools located in urban areas cannot provide as much opportunities as rural areas. And the consequences are quite clear as the rural students show better physical growth than the urban ones. The urban students also suffer more physical defficiencies than the rural ones. So, the importance of games and sports is very clear.

Although schools from rural areas arrange enough competitions from physical activity, the schools of big cities cannot do so. As a result, they focus more on formal learning. The students spend most of their academic year completing academic works rather having fun activities. Moreover, in my country, after spending significant time in school, the students study in private classes to get better results in academics. Due to this heavy pressure, the students suffer from mental and physical disorientation.

So, we can say, although some schools focus too much on formal learning, most of the schools try to provide ample opportunities to develop both physical and mental growth. And the importance of playing in the classroom, is very high.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear view that play is important and support it with points about physical development, sports competitions, and pressure from academic work and private classes. These examples are relevant, but the response only partly answers the task: it does not explain in enough detail whether primary schools generally focus too much on formal learning, and the conclusion shifts to saying that most schools provide ample opportunities, which weakens your initial position. The second question—how important play is specifically within the classroom—is also not fully explored; most discussion concerns sports and opportunities outside classroom learning. Develop each answer directly and explain how play supports learning as well as wellbeing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the ideas generally relate to the topic. However, progression is uneven: the discussion moves from rural and urban schools to physical growth, then to academic pressure, without clearly showing how each point answers both questions. Linking phrases such as “As a result” and “Moreover” help, but some connections are mechanical or unclear. The contrast between the opening position and the conclusion also makes the overall argument harder to follow. Use topic sentences that state the point of each paragraph, and connect examples explicitly to your view about formal learning and classroom play.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate your main ideas, including “formal learning,” “competitions,” “academic year,” and “mental and physical growth.” There are also attempts at more specific expressions, but several choices are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “physical defficiencies,” “mental and physical disorientation,” and “completing academic works.” Spelling errors, including “defficiencies,” are noticeable, and phrases such as “opportunities vary school to school” lack natural phrasing. These issues do not prevent the reader from understanding the general message, but they limit precision. Build a reliable range of collocations for education, wellbeing and play, and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple sentences and longer structures, including clauses beginning with “Although” and “As a result,” so there is some variety. However, errors recur in sentence construction and grammatical patterns. For example, “I think, the children” has unnecessary punctuation, “as much opportunities” has a number-agreement problem, and “rather having fun activities” is not correctly formed. The sentence beginning “As far as my observation” is also incomplete in its grammatical pattern. These errors sometimes make the reader pause, although the main meaning remains understandable. Practise accurate comparative and quantity structures, verb patterns after “rather,” and complete introductory clauses before adding more complex sentences.

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