Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some individuals think that the primary educational institutions focus too much on formal learning.

I completely agree with that.

The schools in our country do not engage students with outdoor activities. They only teach the childrens how to find information about specific topics from the book.

It is very essential for a child to play games which requires physical activity. In that way one can stay fit and sharp. It also helps a student to be an active person. By doing these outdoor activity a kid can learn necessary things about sports and it also strengthens their basic knowledge. Since physical activity makes one's brain active, so they can aquire knowledge fastly and effectively than the others. For example: Suppose a student has to write an essay about "Sports in Bangladesh", the students who plays regularly can comfortably finish the essay without loosing a sweat. On the other hand the students who only gathers knowledge from books find it hard to finish the essay.

In contrast, physical sports are equally important as formal learning. Schools should change their policy and make playful environment so that childrens can aquire bookish knowledge and stay both mentally and physically fit.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

Your position is clear in “I completely agree,” and you give relevant reasons for combining play with learning, including fitness, alertness and a sports-related essay example. However, the response only partially addresses the task: it says little about what formal learning in primary schools involves or why it is excessive, and the example mainly illustrates sports knowledge rather than classroom play supporting learning. The final paragraph repeats that sports and formal learning are both important but does not explain how they should be balanced. The response is also 53 words below the required minimum, which limits the space available to develop your reasons and address both questions fully. Add a developed explanation of the problem and a specific classroom example of learning through play.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic overall sequence: it states your view, gives reasons and an example, then offers a concluding recommendation. The example about writing on sports helps connect physical activity to learning. However, the progression between points is not always clear. “In contrast” introduces a point that largely agrees with the preceding paragraph, so the relationship is confusing, and “In that way” and “By doing these outdoor activity” do not clearly identify which benefit is being developed. The short opening and conclusion also leave the central discussion under-organised. Use separate, purposeful paragraphs for the problem, the benefits of classroom play, and your recommendation; choose linking phrases that accurately show whether you are adding, contrasting or concluding.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate your main ideas, including “formal learning,” “physical activity,” “mentally and physically fit” and “bookish knowledge.” There are also attempts at more specific phrasing, such as “strengthens their basic knowledge.” However, the range is limited and some expressions are imprecise or unnatural, which reduces clarity: “playful environment” is vague, while “finish the essay without loosing a sweat” is an informal idiom that does not fit the academic tone. Spelling and word-form errors such as “aquire,” “fastly” and “childrens” are noticeable. Aim for precise education-related collocations and check spelling; for example, describe “structured classroom activities” or “learning through play” rather than relying on broad or conversational wording.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a conditional example beginning “Suppose a student has to write an essay” and a reason clause with “Since physical activity…”. Meaning is generally understandable, but errors in agreement, verb forms and sentence construction occur across the response. For example, “games which requires” should use a plural verb, and “the students who plays” has a similar agreement problem. In “Since physical activity makes one's brain active, so they can…,” the clause is incorrectly joined with “so,” and the pronoun reference shifts from “one's” to “they.” There are also plural and article issues in “these outdoor activity.” Practise checking each sentence’s subject and verb, and avoid using “since” and “so” together in the same causal construction.

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