Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some people argues that primary school learning system is very much focused on formal method. Although formal learning is necessary building steps in primary stage, i would agree that creative and leisure activities such as play is equally important for the students. In addition it help them to familiarize with external environment.

Primary schools are nowadays heavily focused on formal-centric learning. They try to established methods in such a way so that students will be engaged on competitive learning, their maximum time will be given to study and try to upgrade grades for getting highest ranking in the class. For example, my younger sister is in class 2 and i see that everytime she goes to school with a heavy bag containg lots of books and come back from school at evening as after school she need to attend extra classes arranged by the school. When she come back, after some time she again sit down for study and finish her homework. So she got no time left for enjoying leisure time, developing hobbies or just simply get enough rest. I think she become extremely exhausted and sometimes brain doesn't even function properly which results poor focus on study. Therefore, too much formal learning actually doing harm rather than benefits they aim for building a student learning portfolio.

On the other hand, activites such as play is an essential part of any children's life. They need enough time to play alongside with study so that they can enjoy their childhood that they deserve. Playing is not only a leisure activity it also builds their social bonding, helps to know external environment and how to overcome certain things they might encounter. They get know their classmates, can learn different values from each other. Also sometimes play activies includes parent-children duo competition which brings more excitement in a children's life. Thus play alongside with learn is equally important for a children in the primary classaroom.

In conclusion while formal learning is important in primary school for developing a structred system for children's to learn and integrate in education likewise i firmly agree that too much formal learning will not bring any good to them rather than incorporating activities such as play is a good activites a children can do for social, mental and overall development for their life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear throughout: you accept that formal learning matters but argue that play deserves equal importance. You address both questions, and the example of your younger sister gives concrete support to your concern about an overloaded school routine. You also explain several benefits of play, including social bonding and learning from classmates. This meets the task well, with relevant ideas extended and supported. To strengthen the response further, develop the classroom-focused part of the question more explicitly: much of the example concerns homework and extra classes outside ordinary lessons. You could also explain more precisely how teachers can combine play with learning, rather than relying on broad claims about children’s development and exhaustion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present contrasting aspects, and a conclusion restates your position. The progression from the effects of formal study to the benefits of play is easy to follow, and examples generally appear in the relevant paragraphs. You also use linking expressions such as “For example,” “On the other hand,” and “Therefore.” At times, however, connections feel mechanical or the reference is unclear, as in “Therefore, too much formal learning actually doing harm rather than benefits they aim for.” The final sentence is also difficult to follow because several ideas are joined together. Use clearer sentence boundaries and make pronouns and comparisons explicit to improve cohesion and precision.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use vocabulary relevant to education and childhood, including “competitive learning,” “social bonding,” “leisure time,” and “overall development.” These choices help communicate your main ideas, and there is some attempt to use less common expressions. However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or unnatural, which limits precision: “formal-centric learning,” “upgrade grades,” and “parent-children duo competition” do not express the intended ideas naturally. Spelling and word-form errors such as “activites,” “containg,” and “structred” also occur. Aim for familiar, accurate collocations before trying more elaborate phrases, and check spelling and word forms carefully. A more precise vocabulary range would make your arguments sound clearer and more academic.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a concession in the introduction and longer sentences explaining cause and effect. The meaning is usually recoverable, but errors occur across the response and sometimes make sentences hard to process. Examples include “Some people argues,” “it help them,” and “when she come back,” where subject–verb agreement is incorrect. There are also problems with articles, plurals, and sentence construction, as in “for a children” and “Therefore, too much formal learning actually doing harm.” The final sentence contains several clauses without clear grammatical control. Practise checking agreement and verb forms, and divide long sentences into shorter, complete units while retaining some accurate complex structures.

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