Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Most indiviuals believe that primary school has maximum focus on crriculum learning .I partially agree with this statement.I am going to disscuss to what extent i believe it's necessary for students to take part in extracrricular activities as well as in academic learning.

Generally primary school focus on teaching basic of studies. Children of age below 10 are in primary school and most teacher put pressure on students to learn counting, alphabets and various scientific inventions.

while children of this age barely get to sit in single classroom, they are fast,curious and want to see and touch evrything.It is very hard to control them.It is very important to design such activities for kids they get to play and learn side by side .For instances there is various songs for children available on diffrent social media platforms like youtube to learn alphabates or counting we should play that in classroom so that children can get to sing and learn side by side.In this way they get to focused on learning and instructer can get their attention as well.

In countryside parents and school sole focus is to teach only academic work, and put pressure on students to get excel in studies while ignorning sports and other activities.Every kid is blessed with natural talent and by only focusing on studies we are finishing there natural skills.It is very important to have gaming peroid along with study peroid as it will help them to polish their natural talent.For instance a footballer named Ronalda never get to finish his school but he was a great footballer known nationaly and internationaly and accompalish various victories in this field.

Sports not only build confidence also help people to learn how to socialize and it helps develop combat skills in kids.There should be a balance in formal learning and playing at primary schools so children can be able to excel in academics as well as in other activities

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both parts of the question and make your position clear: you partially agree that formal learning receives too much attention, and you argue that play should be balanced with academic study. The examples of using songs to teach counting and of sports developing children’s abilities are relevant. However, the discussion of formal learning is less fully explained than the case for play, and some claims need clearer support. For example, the statement that focusing on studies is “finishing” children’s natural skills is broad, while the footballer example does not clearly show how classroom play benefits primary pupils. Explain more precisely how play supports learning and give a more directly relevant example to develop your argument further.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs and a concluding recommendation for balance. Ideas generally progress from classroom learning, to play-based teaching, to the wider benefits of sports. You also use linking expressions such as “For instance,” “In this way” and “while” to connect points. At times, however, connections are mechanical or unclear. The opening sentence of the second body paragraph shifts to countryside schools without explaining how this relates to the previous point, and “while” at the start of the next paragraph does not clearly signal the relationship between the ideas. Use clearer topic sentences and make references such as “this” or “it” point unmistakably to the idea being discussed.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use vocabulary relevant to education and children, including “academic learning,” “natural talent,” “socialize” and “confidence,” and your meaning is generally understandable. However, spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable, and some expressions are imprecise or unnatural. Examples include “maximum focus,” “gaming period,” “polish their natural talent” and “combat skills”; the last phrase does not clearly express the social or physical benefits you appear to mean. Several misspellings, such as “indiviuals,” “disscuss” and “alphabates,” also reduce accuracy. Build a more reliable range of education-related collocations and check spelling carefully, especially for key terms, so your ideas are expressed more precisely.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including the explanation that songs can help children “sing and learn side by side.” The main ideas remain understandable, but errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles and verb forms occur across the response. For example, “primary school focus” needs a plural subject or a singular verb, and “a footballer … never get to finish” has an incorrect verb form. The sentence beginning “while children of this age” is not properly connected to the preceding sentence, and several sentences run together without appropriate punctuation. Practise checking subject–verb agreement and verb tense, and divide long or joined ideas into complete sentences while retaining some accurate complex structures.

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