Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Children at primary school focus on the formal learning is an argument among people that they forced to learn more rather than playing.

I agreed that the children at primary level are only focused to learn through the books but not to learn by the activities. If the kids taught to learn in the classroom by pressuring them to do what they do not want to, make them exhausted and eventually they hate to learn in the schools. It becomes a fear for them to talk to the teachers and doing homework.

For instance, in my childhood I do not want to go to the school because my teacher was so strict and punished the students who make mistakes. In the result I just started to cry whenever it times to go for a school.

In my perspective, children love to play so we should let them play not only indoor but also for outdoor games. we should engaged them in the activities through which they can learn or have fun at the same moment. This can help student to be active and fresh minded so they can took part in the class more energetically.

The things that could help kids to be more focused as well as made them interested are the coloring, drawing, playing, sports activities, sharing food, color day, etc.

For example, when I was a child I love to take part in the activities and events like making a dustbin from matchbox, taking part in the drama and dance, sharing healthy food with friends, in the sports like running.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6.0
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.0
Overall5.5

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you agree that primary pupils can be over-focused on formal learning, and you explain that pressure may make children tired or fearful of school. You also address the importance of play by suggesting indoor and outdoor games and activities that combine enjoyment with learning. The personal examples about a strict teacher and taking part in drama, dance and sports make the response relevant. However, the two parts are not developed equally: the effects of formal learning receive more explanation, while the educational value of play is mostly asserted. Explain, for example, how a particular activity builds social, creative or practical skills, and connect this more directly to classroom learning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a generally coherent sequence: it introduces your view, describes a negative experience, then turns to the benefits and examples of play. Paragraph breaks help distinguish these stages, and phrases such as “For instance” and “For example” signal supporting details. Some connections are less clear or feel mechanical, however. The opening sentence is difficult to follow, and the shift from the personal example about school fear to the recommendation for play could be linked more explicitly. The list of activities also arrives without explaining how its items support the main point. Use clearer topic sentences and add brief links that show how each example develops the argument, while making references such as “the things” more specific.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “activities,” “pressuring,” “energetically,” and “sports activities.” These choices help communicate your concerns and recommendations, and the examples give you opportunities to use topic-specific language. However, several word choices and combinations are unnatural or imprecise, such as “fresh minded,” “in the result,” and “learn through the books.” Repetition of “activities,” “play,” and “children” also limits flexibility. Aim for more natural collocations and precise terms—for instance, describe pupils as “mentally refreshed” and explain that they learn “through textbooks” or “through practical activities.” This would make your meaning smoother and more exact without changing your ideas.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer conditional or explanatory sentences, such as “If the kids taught to learn in the classroom by pressuring them…” and “This can help student to be active…” This shows an effort to express cause and effect, but control is uneven. Some sentence structures are incomplete or faulty: “If the kids taught” needs a passive verb form, while “make them exhausted” does not fit smoothly with the opening clause. Verb forms and agreement also need attention in “I agreed,” “they can took part,” and “we should engaged them.” Articles, plurals and punctuation are inconsistent as well. Practise building accurate clauses first, then combine them, checking tense, subject–verb agreement and verb forms after modal verbs.

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