Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Most of primary schools focus on the formal side of learning more than the fun side where children have the opportunity to play . From my perspective, i belive that focusing on the formal learning is important as it improves the quality of courses and encourge children to work harder but schools must not neglige the importance of allolwing children to have the apportunity to play and have some fun as it has a big impact on their mental health and it is also a fun way of learning.

It is true that , due to imroving their formal learning , primary schools succeed in improvig the quality of their courses with a lot of courses in science , it and math that improve problem solving side of children and their ability to think efficiently. Also , most of this schools has a competitive classroom, where children has the opportunity to prove theirselves and work harder. However, providing some time for children to play in schools is so important, because some of children cannot cope with this stress well so providing them some games and even sport in schools is an apportunity for them to enjoy theit time their and recharge their battery.Also another point, is that organising games sport teams, mind games in schools is a way to teach children in a fun way about team work and about some science fact so children can also learn in a fun way.

Primary schools interset in formal learning improves their courses and their student also but without including playing in their plan this courses wouldn't be as effective as it may seem because playing has a major role in children's life as their help them enjoy, build their caractere and even learn.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both parts of the question and maintain a clear, balanced position: formal learning can improve course quality and encourage effort, but play should also be included. Relevant support includes science, IT and maths developing problem-solving, and games helping children manage stress and learn teamwork. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained. For example, the claim that competitive classrooms make pupils “work harder” would be stronger with an explanation of how this benefits primary-aged children. The final paragraph restates the importance of play and learning but adds little development. To strengthen the response, explain the effects of formal learning and play more fully and give a specific example of a classroom activity that combines them.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph discussing formal learning and play, and a concluding paragraph. Ideas generally progress from the benefits of formal study to the value of play, and linking expressions such as “However” and “Also” help show relationships. At times, though, connections feel mechanical or unclear. The second body paragraph contains several ideas in one long sequence, while “Also another point” and repeated uses of “Also” make the progression less smooth. Some references, such as “this courses” and “their,” are difficult to follow. Use clearer topic sentences, divide the discussion into more focused paragraphs, and make pronoun references explicit to improve the flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “problem solving,” “competitive classroom,” “mental health,” “team work,” and “recharge their battery.” These choices show an attempt to discuss both academic and emotional benefits. However, spelling errors and imprecise or unnatural word combinations are noticeable, including “belive,” “neglige,” “apportunity,” and “improvig.” Phrases such as “the formal side of learning” and “fun side” are understandable but informal and repetitive, while “build their caractere” is not a natural collocation. Aim for more precise academic phrasing and check spelling carefully; a wider range of accurate expressions would make the argument clearer and more fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “because” and “where,” and the main meaning is generally understandable. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly with subject–verb agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries. For example, “most of this schools has” should use a plural demonstrative and verb, while “some of children” needs an article or possessive. The opening sentence also has an awkward construction, and several long sentences join multiple ideas without clear punctuation, especially in the second paragraph. These issues sometimes make the reader pause, although they do not prevent understanding. Practise checking agreement and articles, and break long sentences into shorter, complete units.

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