Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Formal learning is being prioritized in primary schools more and some people have objection on it.Yes, I totaly agree with this beacuse focusing too much on formal learning can cause the brain to work slower, childrens fed up easily and the environment would not be healhty.It is very essential for childrens to play while learning.

The too much of formal learning at early stages can cause the brain to work slower children are unable to process their surroundings that can effect their learning behaviour.Too much formal learning can lead the childrens to fed up easily with studies involving some fun activites makes children active so they can focus on learning.Environment plays a very essential part in learning of the childrens if there is only learning surrounding without any playing activity the children became frustrated and they cannot fully focused on the learning so for better environment schools should a playing activity to it.

Learning and playing are the side by side thing and should be treated equally.For the betterment of childrens playing should be a part of learning.

Playing can help the children to focus more on studies and it helps to understand the things more easily beacuse brain cells are more active during playing.According to the survery in 2022, The LA graduate students conducted a research on childrens who plays while learning and who do not so result is shocking childrens who plays while studying are more likely to be intelligient and more focused on learning as compared to the students who do not play while learning.

So, primary schools must add playing activites for childrens while learning due to the fact it can help students to focus more on studies.It can help them to solve the problem more eaily than other students.However, playing at primary level is very essential in terms of learning.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you agree that formal learning is overemphasised and state that play is “very essential” alongside learning. You address both parts of the prompt by explaining possible effects of excessive formal instruction and describing how play may support focus and understanding. The example of a reported study also gives your argument some support. However, several claims—such as formal learning making the brain “work slower”—are asserted rather than explained, and the research example is vague, so its relevance is difficult to assess. The discussion of why play matters is more developed than your explanation of how schools should balance play with formal learning. Clarifying these points and adding a specific, credible example would make the response more fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, paragraphs developing the effects and benefits of play, and a concluding recommendation. This helps the reader follow your general position. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear because several ideas are joined in long sentences without clear boundaries. For example, the paragraph beginning “The too much of formal learning” moves from brain development to boredom and then to the classroom environment with little separation. Linking phrases such as “So” and “However” are used, but the final “However” does not introduce a clear contrast. Use one main point per paragraph, divide explanations into shorter sentences, and make each transition show the precise relationship between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “environment,” “frustrated,” “focus,” and “research,” and you attempt to express ideas about children’s learning in different ways. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, sometimes making meaning less clear. Examples include “children fed up easily,” “learning surrounding,” and “solve the problem more easily than other students.” Spelling errors such as “totaly,” “beacuse,” “healhty,” and “intelligient” are also noticeable. Build a bank of accurate phrases for discussing education and practise checking spelling and word forms. More precise vocabulary would help you explain your ideas without relying repeatedly on “learning,” “playing,” and “children.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences with reasons, for example, “Playing can help the children to focus more on studies and it helps to understand the things more easily.” This shows an effort to connect ideas, but the range of sentence structures is limited, and complex sentences are often not controlled successfully. In “the brain to work slower children are unable to process,” two clauses run together without suitable punctuation or a linking word. There are also recurring problems with agreement and sentence patterns, as in “the children became frustrated” and “schools should a playing activity.” Practise forming complete clauses, using consistent verb forms, and checking subject–verb agreement. Clearer sentence boundaries will make your reasoning easier to understand.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.