Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is often argued that, schools focus too much on formal learning but it's not right in this era. People are involving other activities too in their school learning.

This is the modern era, and schools are more focused on outdoor activities. Learners are learning new things with education. For example, when I was in 9th standard we used to have a play period once in a week. Along with a library period and the one thing which was very interesting for me was the 20 minutes that we got after the break for book reading. They named that time as DARE time which is an abbreviation of 'drop everything and start reading'. Now, I have realized how significant that twenty mins was because it's now in my habit and actually very helpful.

Therefore, it helps in mental peace of students. When pupils are doing extra activities it makes them feel happy and alive. The game period is essential twice a month because it makes them feel active. For instance I believe in that when students know they will get some free time for other things they do their work more efficiently. They do more hardworkl as well.

To conclude that, Some private schools are focusing on other activities like sports, debates and many more. While some are not involving these things in pupils life and this is making them dull in education. Physical activities plays very important role in students mental health and education but some schools are not offering these opportunities to their individuals.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You take a position that schools should include activities beyond formal lessons, and you give relevant examples, especially your experience of weekly play, library time and DARE reading. You also explain that activity can support pupils’ wellbeing and help them work more efficiently. However, the response only partly answers the two questions: it does not clearly state how far you agree that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and the discussion of play in the primary classroom is limited. The example from ninth standard is useful but not closely tied to primary-age children. Develop both parts directly, explain why play matters alongside learning, and support your position with a more specific classroom example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has an introduction, supporting paragraphs and a conclusion, and examples generally relate to the topic. The personal account gives the second paragraph a clear focus, while the later paragraph explains possible benefits of activity. However, progression between ideas is not always clear: “Therefore” introduces a point that does not follow directly from the preceding example, and the conclusion shifts to private schools without clearly drawing together the earlier argument. Some linking phrases, such as “For example” and “To conclude,” help, but connections between claims need to be more explicit. Organise the essay around the two questions, use each paragraph to develop one main point, and make references such as “these things” more precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate your main ideas, including “formal learning,” “outdoor activities,” “mental peace,” “physical activities” and “mental health.” The personal example also gives you opportunities to use specific terms such as “library period” and “book reading.” However, the range is limited and several choices or combinations sound unnatural, including “involving other activities,” “do their work more efficiently” alongside “do more hardworkl,” and “opportunities to their individuals.” There is also a spelling error in “hardworkl.” Aim for more precise, natural collocations and avoid repeating broad terms such as “activities” and “things.” For instance, distinguish between play-based learning, sports, reading time and classroom instruction.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including a sentence explaining what DARE means and a conditional idea beginning “when students know they will get some free time.” These attempts show some range, but control is inconsistent. The opening has an unnecessary comma after “that,” and “It is often argued that, schools…” also needs a clearer sentence structure. In “Physical activities plays,” the subject and verb do not agree; “students mental health” needs a possessive form, and the conclusion contains sentence-boundary and capitalisation problems. Some sentences are also awkwardly joined, which makes relationships between ideas harder to follow. Practise accurate agreement, possessives and punctuation, then check each longer sentence for a clear main clause.

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