Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, it is commonly said that primary schools are putting more pressure on students for formal learning. I completely agree with this viewpoint because, compared to recent times, numerous examples can be observed related to this topic.

Primary school is the backbone of literacy. Nowadays, it can be observed that they are mostly focused on formal learning. But in the long run, the students will definitely suffer a lot for this. Most of the students leave their families after secondary education; when they move to other places, they come to realize the gaps, left behind in primary school. In formal education, learning through play, group study, excursions, and industrial visits is also important. Besides formal education, informal education is also important to survive in real-life scenarios. One compelling example can be noticed in the primary schools of China, where all individuals have to complete an extra course in informal education, such as cooking, sketching, helping and so on. This reflects the practical importance of this issue.

Furthermore, primary schools not only focus on formal learning but also on extracurricular activities. These develop the mental health of the students. They learn to lead, grow together, and learn from each other. It is very much needed for this level students. Schools, as well as teachers, should be equipped to help students bring out their full potential and help them where they need. Bangladesh government has started a new project for teachers to train up them to teach learners how to learn and grow.

In my opinion, playing in the field is as important as learning in the classroom. This approach is not only going to help students physically but also help them to learn practically. They will try to solve the issues on their own, which will definitely help them become independent people. A number of governments around the world have announced that playing is as important as learning on classrooms.

To sum up, schools should not only focus on formal learning. This may hamper the potential of students, and playing is also important for learning.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you agree that formal learning receives too much emphasis, and you also state that play is as important as classroom learning. You address both questions and give relevant reasons, including independence, practical skills and social development. The examples about China and a Bangladesh teacher-training project help make the discussion more specific, although their relevance and connection to your main argument could be explained more fully. Some points are asserted rather than developed—for example, the claim that students later discover “gaps” in their primary education does not identify what those gaps are or how play would prevent them. Develop each main idea with a clearer explanation or a concrete example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, supporting paragraphs, a paragraph focused on play, and a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “Furthermore,” “In my opinion,” and “To sum up” make the stages easy to follow. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes uneven. The first body paragraph moves from literacy to students leaving home, then to informal education and China, without clearly showing how each point supports the central claim. The statement that schools also focus on extracurricular activities may seem to conflict with the argument that they focus too much on formal learning unless you explain the distinction. Use clearer topic sentences and connect examples explicitly to the point they illustrate; this would make cohesion less mechanical and references easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “informal education,” “extracurricular activities,” “practical importance,” and “independent people.” These choices allow you to discuss both academic and personal development, and the meaning is generally clear. There are also some imprecise or unnatural combinations, such as “putting more pressure on students for formal learning,” “gaps, left behind,” and “bring out their full potential.” The phrase “industrial visits” is not clearly suited to primary-school children in this context. Aim for more precise collocations and avoid broad phrases such as “a number of governments” when you cannot identify or explain the evidence. More natural wording would make your argument sound more controlled and specific.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a conditional structure in “when they move to other places, they come to realize…” and a relative clause in “which will definitely help them become independent people.” Most sentences communicate their meaning, but some grammatical errors remain. For example, “the gaps, left behind in primary school” has an incorrectly placed comma, while “this level students” needs a grammatical link such as “students at this level.” In “Bangladesh government has started,” the article is missing, and “train up them” has an incorrect object pattern. Check articles, prepositions and word order, and revise punctuation around clauses. Greater accuracy across these structures would strengthen the response.

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