Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Over recent years, formal learning at the primory schools have become a hotly debated issue in society. Some individuals think that primary schools pay too much attention on formal learning. I strongly agree with this statemant. Nowadays, we do more focus on formal learning than physical activities of children. In this essay, I will elaborate on the importance of games and present evidence in support of my perspective.

On the one hand, the primary school's education is very necessary because in the primary schools we build basic knowledge of the children. In the primary schools students learn the basic information of all subjects such as math and science. Moreover, we can teach the languages and build confidence level at the primary schools. For instance, the teen aggers can learn languages efficiently than the adults. So, formal learning at the school level is imortant.

On the other hand, some schools nowadays, do not focus on the sports and games. Several studies have proved that it is harmful for the mental and physical health of the students. It increases the stress level of the students. Moreover, students can become unhealthy. For instance, If the students study at schools and than do homework after school. They do not involve in any physical activity than they can face problem of overwate. That is why we should make a health schedule for the students.

To sum up, formal learning at the school level is vital for the students education, but we can not neglact the importance of physical activites. I believe that the health should our first priority. So, we should focus on both things.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you strongly agree that schools give too much attention to formal learning, and you recognise that both academic study and physical activity matter. You address both questions by explaining the value of foundational subjects and the health benefits of play. However, the discussion of classroom play is less fully developed than the case for formal learning: the essay focuses mainly on sports and exercise, with little explanation of how play can support learning or what a balanced classroom might look like. The claims about stress and weight gain are relevant, but would be more convincing with a specific example and clearer explanation. Develop these points and connect them directly to primary-school children’s learning and wellbeing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs and a conclusion. The signposts “On the one hand,” “On the other hand” and “To sum up” help readers follow the main stages of the argument. Within paragraphs, however, ideas are sometimes linked mechanically through repeated “Moreover” and “For instance,” and the relationship between claims is not always clear. For example, the point about teenagers learning languages more efficiently than adults does not clearly support the preceding claim about primary-school education. The final paragraph restates the position but does not bring the two sides together in much detail. Use more precise links between each claim and its explanation, and organise examples so they directly support the paragraph’s main idea.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “formal learning,” “physical activities,” “mental and physical health” and “stress level.” However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation and spelling errors are noticeable. Examples include “pay too much attention on” (the natural phrase is “pay too much attention to”), “health schedule,” and “face problem of overwate.” There are also misspellings such as “primory,” “statemant” and “neglact,” which reduce the accuracy and polish of the writing. Build a wider set of precise terms for play-based learning and children’s development, and check spelling and common word partnerships carefully. This will make your argument clearer and more natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “If the students study at schools and than do homework after school.” Most of the main ideas remain understandable, but some errors in agreement, articles, sentence construction and punctuation affect accuracy. For example, “formal learning … have become” should use a singular verb, and “the health should our first priority” is missing “be.” The conditional example also shifts awkwardly between “if” and “than,” making the relationship between the condition and result unclear. Some sentences rely on repeated basic patterns, so the range is not yet consistently controlled. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and complete conditional sentences, then proofread for missing verbs and sentence boundaries.

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