Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

I am strongly agree with this argument.Generally, children learn most from their primary school .It is the base for them.It plays a great role in their foundation.It is very important to provide knowledge of both sports and academic study to student in primary school.Actually , this is the time when students are in their growth phase. They can learn many more things from primary school.Focusing on providing only the formal education may limits them only to the theoratical knowledge , they might not learn more outside of classroom , they can be more focused on cramming things and just getting good marks.Although , it is very important to provide the students academic knowledge , it helps them to get good academic knowledge.But having sports learning and more activities realted to their talent may help them to pursure their passion.For instance , when i was in my primary school , our school was more focused on proving the formal education , and very rarely some activities outside the classroom were performed by the students . But have keen interest in dancing since childhood.So , i prepared an application and submit it to the principle of school.The application had the proposal of making the dance club in the school.My school principle first resisted to that but eventually he have given his permission.A dance club was made with many students as its member.Then we practiced a lot and became first at block , district , state level.We are very proud of that.Same at that time , the sports club was made and the members too performed very well.Some of them i know , they are playing at state level.So, it is very important to have such clubs and learning outside classrooms in every primary school.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you agree that primary schools give too much attention to formal learning, and you address the importance of combining academic study with activities such as sport and dance. The personal example about establishing a dance club is relevant and gives your argument concrete support; the sports-club example also reinforces your view. This covers both parts of the question, but the discussion is uneven: you explain the benefits of activities in detail, while the reasons formal learning matters and how play supports children’s development are less fully explored. To strengthen the response, explain those links more explicitly and develop a balanced account of what classroom play can teach, such as cooperation or creativity.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable progression from your opinion, to general reasons, to a personal example and a concluding recommendation. The dance-club story is easy to follow in its main events, and phrases such as “For instance” help signal an example. However, the writing is presented as one long paragraph, so the main stages of the argument are not clearly separated. Several ideas are also joined by commas or repeated “and” clauses, making relationships between points less clear. Use separate paragraphs for your position and reasons, the personal example, and the conclusion. More precise links between claims—for example, how activities develop skills beyond academic knowledge—would make the progression clearer and less repetitive.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal education,” “academic knowledge,” “cramming,” “passion,” and “dance club,” and the reader can understand your main points. There are also attempts to express more specific ideas, such as “growth phase” and “theoretical knowledge.” However, the range is limited by repeated general words such as “important,” “learn,” and “good,” and some choices or collocations are inaccurate, including “providing knowledge of both sports and academic study” and “proving the formal education.” Spelling errors such as “theoratical,” “realted,” and “pursure” also reduce accuracy. Aim for more natural topic-specific phrases and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer sentences and subordinate clauses, for example, “Although it is very important to provide the students academic knowledge…” and the sequence describing how the dance club was formed. This shows an effort to go beyond simple sentences. However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make parts of the response difficult to read. Examples include “I am strongly agree,” “may limits,” “he have given,” and “some of them … they are playing,” which show problems with verb forms, agreement, and sentence construction. Missing or incorrect punctuation also causes run-on sentences. Practise building accurate complex sentences, and check each sentence for a clear subject and correctly formed verb.

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