Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some people believe that primary schools focus too much on formal learning. I partially agree to this statement as i belived it depends on the region in which children are studying.

In different regions there are different curriculum and different criteria of primary teaching. In modern cities schools are focusing on curriculum and extracurriculum activities While in Rural areas education is only about books. For example in Islamabad which is the capital of Pakistan schools are focusing on sports and different activities. They have added swimming and arts into their syllabus. In rural areas of Pakistan primary schools are only generating book-worms they don't focuses on different extracurriculum activities.

I believed that it is essential for children to focuses on extracurriculum activities along with books. As children of growing age it is important for them to learn into group activities.Playing also activates children mind into problem solving skills and critical thinking which in future will help them to move on society. For example In my family i have noticed that the kids who used to play different sports are more active and they also have problem solving skills as they immediately look for solution when they are stuck. On the other hand kids who studied in school which only focuses on curriculum activities they usually avoid difficult tasks and also they don't have any problem solving and critical thinking capability. If they ever get stuck at the problem they skip that part or look for help rather then solving it by themselves.

Children who have developed habits of playing in early ages are more active becausethey make sports a part of their life which leads them into healthy routine. Moreover, many children who have not developed the habits of playing whenever they move into practical life they are mostly became lazy as they don't have any extracurriculum habit which give them many diseases like depression, obesity as they don't have any activity which give tem fun and relaxation time.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you partially agree that formal learning can dominate, and you explain that this varies between urban and rural schools. You address both parts of the prompt by discussing the value of play alongside academic study, with examples from Islamabad and your family. These relevant examples help support your view. The response also shows some development beyond a simple opinion, particularly when you connect play with problem-solving, social participation and health. However, the comparison between regions is asserted rather than explored, and claims about children who do not play becoming lazy or developing illnesses are broad and not fully supported. To strengthen the response, explain these links more carefully and develop how classroom play can complement formal learning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: it introduces your position, contrasts urban and rural schooling, then develops the benefits of extracurricular activities and play. Examples generally appear near the ideas they support, and linking expressions such as “For example,” “On the other hand” and “Moreover” help guide the reader. However, the progression is sometimes weakened by repetition: the benefits of sports and the limitations of book-focused schooling recur without a clear new step in the argument. Some connections are also unclear, particularly the shift from classroom play to habits in adult life. Use more deliberate paragraphing and make each paragraph advance one distinct point; clearer references and transitions would make the argument easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary, including “curriculum,” “problem-solving skills,” “critical thinking,” “practical life” and “healthy routine.” These terms allow you to discuss education and the wider effects of play. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or repetitive, which sometimes makes the meaning less natural. For example, “generating book-worms” is an awkward way to describe an academic focus, while “move on society” does not express the intended idea clearly. “Extracurriculum activities” is also repeated and is not the usual form. Aim for more precise, natural phrases and check spelling and word forms, such as “believed” where you mean “believe.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “as,” “which” and “when,” and the main ideas are generally understandable. However, errors in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence boundaries occur often enough to make some sentences difficult to read. Examples include “there are different curriculum,” “they don't focuses,” and “As children of growing age it is important for them to learn into group activities.” The long sentence beginning “On the other hand” also contains several clauses that are not clearly controlled. Practise checking subject–verb agreement and consistent tense, and divide long sentences into shorter units. More accurate control of these patterns would make your ideas clearer.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.