Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is often argued that primary schools place too much emphasis on formal education rather than allowing children to enjoy learning through play. I largely agree with this opinion because young children need a balanced combination of academic education and recreational activities for their overall development.

Firstly, formal learning is undoubtedly important for childrens, as primary education provide foundation for the better future. learning alot of subjects, like mathematics, science, etc. but focusing excessively on textbooks, put them in a lot of pressure which may leads to loosing interest in learning or education.

Secondly, playing is equally important for children as they develop social and emotional skills as well as communication skills. They meet a lot of children coming from different family background which can also add a sense of feelings and understanding. Also if any physical or group activities are included for learning, children enjoy it a alot and it makes easy for them to learn.

In my opinion, primary schools should adopt a balanced teaching approach in which academic lessons are combined with recreational activities. Teachers can make lessons more interesting by using educational games, storytelling, drawing and practical exercises. This approach not only makes learning enjoyable but also encourages children to become more confident and independent.

In conclusion, although formal education is essential for children's academic progress, I believe that playing should also be an important part of primary education. A combination of both approaches can create a healthier and more effective learning environment for young students.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you largely agree that formal learning can receive too much emphasis, and you address both the value of academic study and the importance of play. The response gives relevant reasons, including pressure from excessive textbook work and the social and emotional skills children gain through play. Your suggestions—games, storytelling, drawing and practical exercises—also answer how play can be included in lessons. However, some points are asserted rather than explained. For example, the claim that children from different backgrounds develop “a sense of feelings and understanding” is unclear, and the effect of pressure on learning could be illustrated or developed further. More precise explanation and a specific example would make the support more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two reason-based paragraphs, a paragraph proposing a balanced approach, and a conclusion. The progression from the drawbacks of excessive formal study to the benefits of play is easy to follow. Linking phrases such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” “In my opinion,” and “In conclusion” help signal the stages of the argument, and the conclusion reflects the position established at the start. To make the organisation more fluent, rely less on formulaic transitions and connect ideas within paragraphs more explicitly. For instance, explain how group activities build communication skills before moving to the claim that they make learning easier. Some references, such as “They” after “children,” are understandable but could be made more precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary for the topic, including “formal education,” “social and emotional skills,” “recreational activities,” and “balanced teaching approach.” These choices communicate the main ideas clearly, and phrases such as “confident and independent” suit the discussion. However, several word-choice and spelling problems reduce precision and control: “a sense of feelings” is unclear, “a lot of pressure” is rather general, and “alot,” “loosing,” and “childrens” are inaccurate forms. Some expressions are also repetitive, particularly “learning” and “children.” Aim for more precise collocations and check spelling carefully; this will help you express the benefits and drawbacks of classroom activities with greater clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple sentences and some longer structures, including the opening contrast between formal education and learning through play, and the sentence beginning “Although formal education is essential…”. The main message remains understandable, but some grammatical errors recur and occasionally make sentences difficult to follow. For example, “primary education provide foundation” has subject–verb agreement and article errors, while “focusing excessively on textbooks, put them…” has an unclear sentence structure. In “which may leads,” the modal should be followed by the base verb, and the sentence about children meeting others from different backgrounds needs clearer construction. Practise accurate agreement, articles, and complete sentence patterns, while retaining the complex structures you attempt.

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