Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Primary Schools are the first learning institute for infants, as it develops the strong base and personal character of a childern. Nowadays, we see many parents complaining about the primary schools. Firstly, instead of focusing strictly on formal learning the schools should also need to add some healthy fun activities. Secondly, I feel that playing is equally important for the childerns as formal learning in the class, and i would agree to disagree to some extent.

firstly the people usually argue because the learning institute usually focus more on kids formal learning and they don't provide enough fun activities that a childern is required at this stage, The primary stage of learning is usually that time where infants usually want to play more with other kids and to make friends, but the way primary institutes put alot of pressure on the kids towards formal learning and few to almost no fun activities leads the kid to become dull. but on part of Schools formal learning is important for a kid to develop a strong baseline and confidence as they want kids to be more sharp at this stage but kids are kids they are not adults a fun enviorment would surely be much better to deal with the pressure which the kid shoudn't be feeling at this stage.

Secondly its much better this way to teach kids by mixing the formal learning with fun activities as it will attract the childerns and they will be more keen to learn by invloving math puzzles, animal quiz, counting steps, and other plays like that which involve the learning of formal course along with the fun. For instance the modern montessories are the best example where childern learn through fun activites and kids of these institutes are seen to be more happy in going to school and enjoy making friends and also develop the personal character of their age group.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both questions and maintain a broadly clear position: formal learning matters, but play should be included alongside it. The response gives relevant reasons, such as pressure making children “become dull,” and explains that puzzles and quizzes can make learning more engaging. The Montessori example also supports your view. However, the extent of your agreement is not expressed clearly: “I would agree to disagree to some extent” is confusing, and the discussion of whether schools focus too much on formal learning is less fully developed than your case for learning through play. Clarify your position directly and extend one or two reasons with a specific explanation of how play benefits children’s learning or development.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has an overall structure, with an introduction followed by two main paragraphs, and the ideas generally move from the concern about formal learning to the benefits of combining learning and play. Examples such as “math puzzles” help connect the argument to classroom practice. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow because several points are joined in long sentences, and the repeated “Firstly” and “Secondly” make the linking feel mechanical. The first paragraph also shifts between parents’ complaints, children’s need to play, and schools’ reasons for formal learning without clearly signalling the relationships. Use clearer topic sentences, divide complex points into shorter units, and use referencing and transitions to show how each idea supports your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “fun activities,” “pressure,” “confidence,” and “personal character.” Phrases such as “keen to learn” and “develop a strong baseline” show attempts to express ideas beyond very basic vocabulary. However, word choice and collocation are often imprecise or repetitive: “learning institute” is repeated, “strong baseline” is unclear in this context, and “plays like that” is informal and vague. There are also spelling errors, including “childern,” “enviorment,” and “invloving,” which reduce accuracy. Aim for more natural academic expressions and check spelling carefully; this will make your meaning more precise without requiring unnecessarily complex vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses with “as,” “where,” and “which,” and the main ideas are generally understandable. However, some sentences are overloaded and contain several grammatical problems, as in “the learning institute usually focus more on kids formal learning and they don't provide enough fun activities that a childern is required at this stage.” This includes subject–verb agreement and an unclear clause structure. Other examples include “a fun enviorment would surely be much better” after a long run-on sentence, and inconsistent capitalisation of “i.” Improve control by separating connected ideas, checking singular and plural agreement, and using apostrophes and punctuation consistently. More accurate sentence construction would make your argument easier to follow.

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