Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some people believes that elementary schools spend a considerable amount of time on formal learning. I totally agree with the statement because children most of schools are not allowing children to play or have fun in classes.

Most of traditional schools were designed only for teaching, because there is no other facilities or activities in the schools. This means if children needs place to play they may not have and most of time they attend class after class taking core subjects like Mathematics, Physics, Geographys and so on . For instance, I remember our primary school was only have classrooms and no space for physical activity, because as a children we are full of energy and we need space to play and have done some physical activities.

It is very important to have sport classes in their curriculum, because physical fitness plays an important role on academic development. Consequently, the schools must be place for everything not only for academical knowledge, but also must have other activities like sports, theatres and so on. For example, most of modren schools have art classes like music and cooking and fitnesses classes like football or basketball this encourages children to have fun in schools and to like it.

In conclusion, the best way to have a high quality education is to mixed both academics and social activities because children will get boring if the schools only became a place for formal education.So, to make it planced we must encourage both physcal activities and core subjects.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you agree that schools give too much attention to formal learning, and you also explain that play and physical activity matter. The response addresses both questions, with relevant points about children’s energy, fitness and academic development. The personal example of a primary school without space for physical activity helps make the argument concrete. However, the first question is addressed more fully than the second: you mention sports, arts and other activities, but do not explain in much detail how play supports children’s learning or what a balanced classroom might look like. Develop this link and extend one or two examples to make your reasoning more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs develop reasons, and a conclusion restates the main point. Ideas generally progress from limited facilities, to the value of physical activity, to a recommendation for balance. Linking expressions such as “For instance,” “Consequently” and “In conclusion” help guide the reader. This coherent arrangement meets the lower-band expectations, and there are signs of more developed progression. To make the flow more consistently smooth, clarify some connections between claims—for example, explain directly how physical fitness contributes to academic development. Some transitions and repeated references to “schools” feel mechanical, and the final sentence’s “So” is less suitable for a formal conclusion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate your main ideas, including “formal learning,” “physical fitness,” “academic development,” “curriculum” and “core subjects.” There are also attempts at more specific examples, such as “theatres,” “music” and “basketball.” However, inaccurate word forms, spelling and collocations are noticeable and sometimes make the reader pause: “academical knowledge,” “fitnesses classes,” “modren” and “Geographys” are examples. Some wording is also imprecise, such as “place for everything” and “make it planced.” Build accuracy by checking spelling and choosing natural combinations of words; this will make your adequate range more precise and reliable.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “because” and “if,” and the overall meaning is usually understandable. However, errors in agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence construction occur across the response. For example, “Some people believes” should be “Some people believe,” while “if children needs place to play” requires “if children need a place to play.” The construction “our primary school was only have classrooms” also needs a corrected verb pattern, such as “our primary school only had classrooms.” Some long sentences combine several ideas without clear punctuation. Practise accurate basic sentence patterns first, then use subordinate clauses with careful subject–verb agreement and punctuation.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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