Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Most primary schools nowadays focus more on studies than let children play in the classroom or school, However i do think that this mostly depends on the location of the primary school and the needs of the parents of the students. I did my primary school from Malaysia and my little brother did it from Pakistan, so i think i have enough experience to compare both these experiences. As when i was in Malaysia, the school used to focus more on sports and other activites while still balancing studies.Due to that i used to spend all my day in the school and i used to be very excited to got to school.On the other hand my little brother did his primary school from Pakistan which majorly only focused on studies and there was one sports class in the entire week.Due to this my little brother did not want to go to school and he had this bad perception of school.

In my opinion, playing is equally important for children in primary school as this has alot of benefits.Firstly it improves the mental health of children, they get excited to go to school and partcipate in different actiivites.As they participate in different sports and play with their peers it improves their ability to socialize with other people and become confident,which will help them later on their life. While im not saying that formal learning is not important and schools should not focus on it but they should balance both these things as i think it will be much better for the kid in the long run and it will keep his mental health in place.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both parts of the question: you give a qualified view that schools’ emphasis varies by context, and you clearly argue that play is as important as formal learning. The Malaysia–Pakistan comparison is relevant and gives your position a personal example, while the points about mental health, socialising and confidence explain why play matters. This meets the task well, but the two parts are not developed equally: the discussion of whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning is mostly conveyed through the contrast between your schools, rather than a fuller explanation of what an appropriate balance should look like. To strengthen the response, explain more directly how much you agree with the claim and develop one or two benefits with specific classroom examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall shape: the first paragraph introduces the issue and compares two school experiences, while the second states your view and gives reasons. Connectors such as “On the other hand” and “Firstly” help readers follow the contrast and the supporting points. This is a coherent arrangement, though some links feel mechanical or unclear. For example, “As when i was in Malaysia” does not form a clear connection to the preceding sentence, and “Due to this” is repeated to introduce consequences. The long first paragraph also combines several stages of the comparison without enough sentence breaks. Use clearer topic sentences, vary linking expressions, and make the relationship between each example and your argument explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate your main ideas, including “formal learning,” “mental health,” “socialize,” and “confident.” The comparison also gives you opportunities to express ideas beyond a very basic range. However, vocabulary is often repetitive or imprecise, particularly “focus,” “studies,” “play,” and “things.” Several word-choice and spelling errors are noticeable, such as “activites,” “partcipate,” and “actiivites,” and phrases such as “did my primary school from Malaysia” and “keep his mental health in place” are not natural English collocations. Aim for more precise expressions and check spelling carefully; this would make your ideas sound clearer and more academic without changing their meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrast introduced by “While” and a relative clause in “which will help them later on their life.” Your meaning is generally understandable, but some errors in sentence structure, verb forms, articles, and punctuation remain. For example, “i do think” and “i used to be very excited to got to school” show problems with capitalisation and verb form, while “there was one sports class in the entire week” has an awkward article and preposition pattern. Several sentences run together, as in “studies.Due to that,” and commas are missing before or after clauses. Practise accurate past-tense patterns and sentence boundaries, then proofread for capital letters and punctuation.

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