Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In this day and age many people believe that primary schools focus too much on formal learning . theiy use old metod and in my opinion , i strongly agree with this essay becous formal learning they foucous too much on lerning by memorize and also they dont provaed a free time for kids.In this essay i will support my oppinon with reasons and give some examples to support my argument.

To begin with , formal learning they use old method like memorize word and song ..ect , and that cant help the kids to show there skills . to illustraite more some child they dont like study to much or do the old formal exam but if we change the method maybe they can help them for example do assesment of learnning outcomes and tha can make improve in education for children .

another reson why i agree with primary schools can destroy the kids is the dont give them a lot of leisure time . I mean when you dont give a child the time to do other practice like sport or play otomaticle they going to hete the study for nstance the most important thing for child is play and if we take this for him it wll be a big issues . becous play it is the one thing that can make them fell confidante and can acquire new skills .

these are the reasons why i agree with primary schools focus to much on

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a clear overall view that you agree, and you address both formal learning and the value of play. The points about memorisation limiting children’s skills and play building confidence and skills are relevant, but they are asserted rather than explained with specific examples. The second question—how important play is in the classroom—receives some attention, yet its importance and how play can complement learning are not fully developed. The conclusion is also incomplete, ending mid-sentence. The response is 240 words, so it is 10 words below the 250-word minimum; the 9 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. Develop each main point with a clear explanation or example and finish with a complete conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has an identifiable introduction, two body paragraphs and an attempted conclusion, and phrases such as “To begin with” and “another reason” signal the order of points. However, progression is limited: the first paragraph’s ideas about memorisation, skills and assessment are not connected clearly, while the second moves between leisure, sport, dislike of study and confidence without a fully developed sequence. Some linking phrases are repetitive or awkward, and references such as “this” and “they” do not always make the intended meaning clear. The final paragraph is unfinished, so the essay does not reach a complete ending. Organise each body paragraph around one main claim, then explain it and give an example before moving to the next point.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “formal learning,” “memorize,” “leisure time,” “sport” and “acquire new skills.” However, the range is limited and several words or phrases are repeated, particularly “formal learning,” “kids” and “play.” Frequent spelling errors—such as “metod,” “becous,” “foucous” and “confidante”—make the response harder to read, while some choices are unclear or unnatural, for example “destroy the kids” and “do other practice.” Aim for accurate spelling and more precise, natural expressions. Learning topic-specific alternatives such as “structured instruction,” “hands-on activities” and “social development” would help you express your ideas more clearly and avoid repetition.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to connect ideas in longer sentences, for example with “when” and “if,” but the range of sentence structures is limited and these attempts are often difficult to follow. There are frequent problems with sentence boundaries, verb forms, agreement and articles. For instance, “when you dont give a child the time … they going to” needs a complete verb phrase, and “play it is the one thing” has an incorrect sentence structure. Several sentences run together or use full stops and commas inconsistently, which obscures the relationships between ideas. Practise writing accurate simple sentences first, then combine them using one clear subordinate clause. Check that every sentence has a subject and a correctly formed verb, and use punctuation to separate complete thoughts.

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