Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, certain individuals say that primary schools give too much importance to formal learning. I partly agree with this opinion because I think playing is also very important for children in primary schools. Students need time to play and enjoy their lives. In my opinion, playing and learning are both equally important for young children.

Learning in schools has many benefits. Firstly, schools teach students many things such as math, science, mathematics and English. These subjects help students future careers. For example, when students know these subjects they can improve their lives and also they have more opportunities. However, when students speak English very fluently and confidently it is better for their further studies and also they have better job opportunities. Secondly, schools teach discipline and teach basic knowledge. For instance, when students know about who to deal with difficulties and how to manage their money they can work hard and improve their skills and lives.

On the other hand, playing in primary schools have many advantages. Firstly, when students play any game, games provide relaxation and relieve stress. For example, students study very long hours in schools but after school when they play games their brain relaxes and forgets about their studies and also their stress is released. Secondly, by playing games, students learn different skills and improve their teamwork. For instance, when children play sports at a young age they can learn how to build a team and improve their relationship with others and also they learn many skills such as playing sports with different techniques. Moreover, playing any sports teach students communication skills, cooperation and skills.

In addition, playing can make learning more interesting. In my opinion, teachers should teach different games and activities to young children. As a result, children can understand different topics more easily.

In conclusion, although formal learning is necessary for students, playing sports is equally important for young children. Moreover, schools should provide a balanced classroom learning and fun activities because both are necessary for children's overall development.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you partly agree that formal learning receives too much emphasis, and you argue that play is equally important. You address both the value of academic subjects and the benefits of play, with relevant examples such as teamwork, stress relief and learning through activities. This covers the task, but the two sides are not developed equally: the discussion of formal learning lists benefits without directly showing that schools focus on it too heavily, while the point that play can make learning more interesting is only briefly explained. To strengthen the response, explain what an appropriate balance would look like in a primary classroom and develop one example of how play supports a specific learning outcome.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs on learning and play, a paragraph on learning through activities, and a conclusion. The contrast marker “On the other hand” helps signal the shift between the two main arguments, and examples generally follow the points they support. This gives the essay a coherent progression. To move beyond this level, make connections between ideas more precise and avoid relying on a repeated sequence of “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “For example.” Some links are also unclear or repetitive, particularly the repeated claims about job opportunities and the final list of skills in the play paragraph. Group related points more tightly and use referencing or transitions that show how each idea advances your argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to discuss education and play, including “formal learning,” “discipline,” “teamwork,” “cooperation,” and “overall development.” These choices make your main ideas understandable, and some topic-specific language is appropriate. However, the range is limited by repetition of common words such as “students,” “play,” “skills,” and “important.” There are also imprecise or unnatural expressions, including “their brain relaxes,” “their stress is released,” and “playing any sports teach students.” Aim for more precise collocations and vary repeated terms; for example, describe play as “reducing stress” or “supporting social development.” Check word forms and phrasing so that vocabulary sounds natural as well as relevant.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mixture of simple sentences and longer structures, including clauses introduced by “because,” “when,” and “although.” Most of the meaning remains clear, and the conclusion is expressed in a complete sentence. However, some grammatical errors recur, especially with subject–verb agreement and sentence construction. For example, “playing in primary schools have many advantages” should use a singular verb, and “playing any sports teach students” also has an agreement error. The sentence beginning “For instance, when students know about who to deal with difficulties” is not formed correctly. There is also awkward control of clauses in “when students speak English very fluently and confidently it is better.” Practise checking agreement and building clear, complete clauses, while continuing to use a range of sentence forms.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.