Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowadays, people have different opinions about the method of how primary schools teach children, many of them believe that it is crucial for chidlren to play the same way as they learn in classrom.I completly agree with this statement because the play of childrens plays an important role in their growth, and their confidence.

One of the main reasons why i agree with this statement is that playing in classrom provide the stress and anxiety of childrens, for example when a student study so much and get a hard day,he is going to feel very tired and cannot read anything, so when they play they decrease the level of stress and feel exited to play and envolved postive energy in their day .In addition, playing in classrom encourage the cooperation and make strong relation between children, for example there are so many SICK CHILDRENS WITH DEPRESSION and cant speak so much but when there is a play in classrom teacher make groups of childrens and give them smething to do like painting singing also playing in classrom, can really play an crucial thing in developing the skills of childrens, because a wide range of childrens have abilities, for instance there are a lot of famous singers that develop their skills in schools festivals and challenges.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You take a clear position in favour of play, stating that it supports children’s growth and confidence, and you give relevant examples involving stress, cooperation and school performances. However, the response only partially addresses the prompt: it does not clearly explain whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and it gives little detail about how play and learning should be balanced in the classroom. Several points are asserted rather than developed, such as the claim that play reduces stress. The response is also 35 words below the required minimum, which limits the space available to explain and support your ideas. Address both questions directly and extend each main point with a clear explanation or specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some organisation: you introduce your opinion and then give reasons, using signals such as “One of the main reasons” and “In addition.” These help the reader recognise that you are adding supporting points. However, the response has no clear overall progression beyond a sequence of claims and examples, and the second body section becomes difficult to follow because several ideas are joined in one long sentence. The examples about children with depression, group activities and singers are not clearly separated or linked to the main argument. Use distinct paragraphs for your position and each main reason, and make the relationship between each example and its point explicit. Avoid relying on repeated “for example” and “in addition” to organise the whole response.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “stress and anxiety,” “cooperation,” “confidence” and “developing the skills.” This gives you a basic range for discussing children’s learning and play. However, the vocabulary is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which sometimes makes the meaning harder to understand. For instance, “provide the stress” does not express the intended idea, and “envolved postive energy” is unclear. There are also repeated forms such as “play in classrom” and “childrens,” alongside spelling errors including “chidlren” and “completly.” Build a more accurate set of phrases for describing the benefits of play, and check spelling and word forms carefully before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to express reasons through longer sentences and clauses, for example, “because the play of childrens plays an important role in their growth.” However, the range of sentence structures is limited, and attempts to combine several ideas often result in faulty sentences that can make the message difficult to follow. Errors include subject–verb agreement in “playing in classrom provide” and “playing in classrom encourage,” inconsistent pronouns in “a student … he … they,” and missing or incorrect articles and plural forms. Punctuation is also unreliable: the opening sentence runs into the next without a clear full stop, while the long sentence beginning “In addition” contains several separate ideas. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then connect them with controlled subordinate clauses.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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