Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Some people believe that, primary education institutions concentrate on acamdemic learning only. I firmly agree with this opinion, though I believe playing is equally important as studying because it is beneficial for developing core skills and improving physical fitness.

Students of primary schools are facing more academic pressure because of there curriculum, where various subjects for future development are included. Due to this reason, schools are focusing on formal learning more than ever, as they have to complete the syllabus under a specefic period. However, students are getting a headstart for their future career as they are gaining knowledge about different subjects. For example, my brother was admitted in a primary school, earlier this year. In his curriculum, there are some extra subjects such as language learning, computer learning and history alongside the core subjects like mathematics, litarature, science, etc. As a result, he gained the core ideas about various subjects which will be beneficial for him in future career but created academic pressure.Therefore, fore the sake of students' future, primary schools are concentrating on formal learning.

However, I believe playing is an essential part of children life, alongside studying because it develops some core skills such as communication skills, leadership skills, co-operative nature, and problem solving skills. Moreover, playing on a regular basis keeps a student physically fit. For example, I studied in a primary school, called "Fulki". I played several games while studying in the primary level regularly such as carrom, chess, football, cricket, and badminton. These sports helped me to enhance my skills significantly. Furthermore, I was physcially active because of running and playing daily. Therefore, playing is as important as learning for a student in a primary school.

In conclusion, although primary institutions are mainly prioritizing academic learning, they should focus on playing similarly as studying because it develops not only students' significant skills, but also keeps healthy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your response addresses both questions and maintains a clear position: you agree that primary schools emphasise formal learning, while arguing that play is equally important. The first body paragraph explains why schools prioritise the syllabus and supports this with your brother’s curriculum; the second gives relevant benefits of play, including communication, cooperation, problem-solving and fitness, illustrated by your own school experience. These examples help extend your ideas. To strengthen the response further, develop the reasoning behind the claim that schools focus on formal learning “more than ever,” and explain more specifically how classroom play can support learning alongside physical activity. Some claims, such as the benefits of games, are listed rather than fully explained, so the support is not equally developed throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay has a clear overall progression: an introduction states your view, the first body paragraph discusses formal learning, the second explains the value of play, and the conclusion restates your position. Paragraphs are focused, and linking expressions such as “However,” “Moreover,” and “Therefore” make the relationship between points easy to follow. There is some flexibility in how you connect ideas, although the repeated use of “Therefore” and “because” can make the links feel predictable. A few transitions between claims could be more explicit—for instance, clarify how the example of your brother’s subjects demonstrates that schools concentrate too heavily on formal learning. More varied referencing and transitions would make the progression smoother without changing the clear structure.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “academic pressure,” “syllabus,” “core skills,” “leadership,” and “problem solving.” These choices communicate your main ideas, and some topic-specific language helps make the examples relevant. However, there are several spelling errors, including “acamdemic,” “specefic,” “litarature,” and “physcially,” as well as word-choice or collocation problems such as “headstart for their future career” and “keeps a student physically fit.” Some phrases are also repetitive, particularly “formal learning” and “playing.” Check spelling carefully and choose more natural combinations, such as “gain a head start in their future careers” and “maintain physical fitness.” This would improve precision while preserving your clear meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “because,” “where,” and “although.” Most sentences communicate the intended meaning, and the contrast between the two body paragraphs is clear. Some grammatical errors remain, however. For example, “because of there curriculum” needs a possessive form, while “children life” requires a plural possessive. In “playing is an essential part … alongside studying because it develops,” the pronoun reference is unclear, and “but created academic pressure” lacks a clear subject. Punctuation also needs attention: there is no space after the full stop in “pressure.Therefore,” and the opening comma after “believe” is unnecessary. Review possessives, sentence completeness, and punctuation to make your varied structures more consistently accurate.

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