Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

While a few people might think that early education should focus more on traditional learning, I personally think that it is very important for children to play and have fun as well as they learn in primary school classrooms.

In primary schools, usually children from 4 to 10 years old are admitted. This is a very delicate time for a child. How they are taken care of in this age shapes their adult life. So what they perceives in this age is very crucial. Learning formal education like alphabates, maths and other subjects are necessary for a child to strengthen his foundation in studies. but the process should be playful and fun too.

When children are sent to schools, at first they think it like a prison away from their home. To make learning a fun experience, it is vital to add some fun in it. Research shows that, when children learn by playing, they tend to remember it for longer. Also they start liking the process of learning. If a children does not enjoy learning, he/she will start thinking education as a punishment.

My mother is a primary school teacher. So I have seen closely how the education system in our country works in a primary level. Here most of the time, playing is not allowed in the classroom. Because of that, children usually do not want to come to school regularly and the overall result decline over time.

Even though I think, formal educations are very important to build the future a children, we still need to give prioritize of their mental health which can be imrpoved by playing.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you support combining formal learning with play, and you address both the value of academic foundations and the importance of play. The examples about children remembering lessons through play and your mother’s experience as a teacher make the response relevant. This meets the task well, but the two aspects are not developed equally: the case for play is explained more fully, while the opening question about whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning receives less direct discussion. The claim that children see school “like a prison” also needs qualification or support. To strengthen the response, explain more specifically how excessive formal instruction affects children and give a concrete classroom example of learning through play.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: it states your view, explains the role of foundational learning, develops reasons for play, and adds a personal example before concluding. Paragraphs generally have a distinct purpose, and links such as “Also” and “Because of that” help show relationships between ideas. However, progression is sometimes mechanical, and some connections are unclear. For example, the age range and the statement that early experiences shape adult life do not lead directly into a developed explanation of the main argument. The final paragraph also introduces mental health abruptly. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each example explicitly to your position; a more developed conclusion could bring together the benefits of play and formal learning.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including relevant terms such as “formal education,” “foundation,” “education system,” and “mental health.” There are also attempts at more specific phrasing, such as “a delicate time” and “strengthen his foundation in studies.” However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or awkward, which limits precision: “give prioritize of their mental health” and “the overall result decline” are difficult to interpret smoothly. Spelling errors such as “alphabates” and “imrpoved” are noticeable, and “fun” is repeated rather than varied. Aim to learn common word partnerships and check spelling and word forms; this will make your ideas sound more natural without requiring unusually advanced vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a conditional sentence (“If a children does not enjoy learning…”) and a time clause (“when children learn by playing…”). Most of the argument remains understandable, but some grammatical errors recur and occasionally make sentences awkward. Examples include “what they perceives” (subject–verb agreement), “a children” (article and number), and “formal educations are” (uncountable noun and agreement). The sentence beginning “Even though I think” is also not smoothly constructed, and punctuation after “but” and “Research shows that” needs attention. Practise agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries, then proofread each sentence for a clear subject and verb. More accurate control of these patterns would make your varied structures easier to follow.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.