Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is often argued that focus on formal learning is too much in primary schools. I strongly agree with this view because it can lead to less play time for the childs. It can also lead to childs not able to spend time with their parents due to pressure of formal learning.

The most important reason is that too much focus on formal learning can lead to less time for the childs to play. This is because childs spend most of their time at the schools and generally, schools also give students a lot of homework. This leads to even when childs are at home they can't play because of the fact that they have homework, which they need to complete. For example, a young children goes to school daily. It also get's a lot of homework. When he comes back from home, he needs to also complete homework, which can lead to less time for play. Therefore, too much focus on the formal learning can lead to less play time for the childern.

Another important reason is that due to much focus on formal learning childs don't get enough time to spend with their parents. This is becuase they have a continous pressure of homeworks and different assigments, this leads to less time for the childern to spend time with the parents. We know according to modern science, it is extremely important that parent spend time with the children. So they can get mature and also become good at emotional intelligence. For instance, a child comes back home, and then he is continously working to complete his assigments, then he will not have enough time for other important activities and spending time with parents. Therefore, too much focus on formal learning can hinder the parent and child relationship.

In conclusion, I firmly believe that Although formal learning is important, we need to focus on playing time for childern as well as enough time availble for childern for play time. This is because it helps the childern to build the emotional intelligence and other skills. That will help him/her grow in the future.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you strongly agree that formal learning receives too much emphasis, and you give relevant reasons about play and time with parents. The response also explains why play matters, mentioning emotional intelligence and other skills. However, the task asks specifically how important play is alongside learning in the primary-school classroom, while much of your discussion shifts to homework and family time at home. The classroom benefits of play—such as learning cooperation, creativity, or problem-solving—are not developed, and the examples mostly repeat the same homework scenario. To strengthen the response, address both questions directly and explain each reason with a distinct, specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting reasons, and a conclusion. Topic sentences such as “The most important reason” and “Another important reason” help readers follow the main points, and linking expressions including “For example” and “Therefore” make relationships between ideas explicit. However, the progression is somewhat mechanical, and the examples largely restate the point rather than extending it. References such as “This” and “It” are occasionally unclear, particularly in the first body paragraph’s example. The conclusion also repeats the focus on play without clearly bringing together the two arguments. Use more varied transitions and make each example add a new detail to the argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “formal learning,” “homework,” “emotional intelligence,” and “parent and child relationship.” These choices show awareness of the subject, but the range is limited and several phrases are repeated, especially “too much focus on formal learning,” “less time,” and “children.” There are also noticeable word-choice, collocation, and spelling problems, such as “a young children,” “a lot of homework” repeated across examples, “continous,” and “assigments.” These do not prevent the reader from understanding the overall message, but they reduce precision and fluency. Build a wider set of expressions for classroom play and its benefits, and check spelling and natural word combinations during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including cause-and-effect structures with “because” and “which,” and the overall meaning is usually understandable. However, the range is limited, and complex sentences are often not controlled accurately. For example, “This leads to even when childs are at home they can't play” has a faulty clause structure, while “For example, a young children goes” and “It also get's” show errors in agreement and sentence formation. Plural and article errors recur, as in “the childs” and “the schools,” and the conclusion contains an awkwardly punctuated “I firmly believe that Although.” Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, plural forms, and sentence boundaries, then vary structures while keeping each sentence clear.

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