Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It would be foolish to ignore the importance of formal education for primary school children. However, the adequate playing time is also equally necessary for the physical and mental health of the children.

Formal learning has lifelong impacts on the children of primary schools. Initial years play significant role in defining the academic performance of the children. During these initial years children learn fundamental concepts which then become the foundation of all learnings. Such as, learning alphabets hold importance as without it children may never be able to master the rudimentary skills of reading and writing. Without these skills they will only be relying on half of the potiential ( for example, listening and speaking), which would result in them legging behind in learning and hence in all walks of their life. Threfore, formal education in primary has vital part in shaping one's life.

However, playing holds equal value for better physical health. Playing exhausts the children, which then improves the quality of sleep. Better sleep is at epitome of better learning. Mind needs proper sleep for proper functioning. Playing makes sure the mental health by keeping the body healthy. Hence, Physical exhaustion is needed for overall health of the children.

In conclusion, There should be no comparision or rivalry between chosing which is important and which is not. Both the physically demanding games as well as formal education is needed for children to transform them into a fully value ading and functional member of a healthy and literate society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: formal education matters, but play is also necessary, and the conclusion reinforces that neither should be treated as a rival to the other. You address both questions and give relevant reasons, including foundational literacy skills and the links you draw between play, sleep, and health. However, the first question asks whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and you do not directly say how far you agree; the opening instead stresses education’s importance. Some support is also under-developed: the claims about sleep and learning would be more convincing with a specific classroom example or explanation of how play can support learning. State your degree of agreement explicitly and develop each main reason with a concrete example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, separate paragraphs on formal learning and play, and a conclusion. The contrastive transitions “However” and the concluding “In conclusion” help readers follow the main progression, and the ideas within each body paragraph generally stay on topic. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent organisation and shows some of the flexibility associated with stronger cohesion. To improve further, make the links between claims more explicit: for example, explain how physical activity in a classroom relates to children’s learning, rather than moving quickly from exhaustion to sleep and then to mental health. Some transitions and references feel mechanical, and the conclusion repeats the balance without fully resolving the question of whether schools currently overemphasise formal learning.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of topic vocabulary, including “formal education,” “fundamental concepts,” “rudimentary skills,” and “physical and mental health.” These choices communicate the main ideas, and some less common expressions show an effort to be precise. However, noticeable spelling and word-choice errors reduce accuracy, including “potiential,” “legging behind,” “Threfore,” “comparision,” and “value ading.” There are also awkward collocations such as “playing time,” “sleep is at epitome,” and “fully value adding.” Aim for natural, accurate combinations rather than more elaborate wording; for instance, “adequate time for play” and “falling behind” would be clearer. Proofread spelling and check unfamiliar phrases in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex forms, including conditional structures such as “Without these skills they will only be relying…” and a relative clause in “concepts which then become the foundation…”. The overall meaning is usually understandable, but some grammatical errors remain. Examples include the missing article in “play significant role,” the awkward construction “Such as, learning alphabets hold importance,” and the agreement problem in “games as well as formal education is needed.” Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent, as in “In conclusion, There…”. Work on articles, subject–verb agreement, and sentence boundaries, and revise sentence fragments so that examples are integrated into complete sentences. More consistently accurate complex sentences would strengthen control.

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