Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is widely debated that the main attention of schools is on formal studies. I strongly agree with this statement because our school curriculars are designed this way whereas it is equally essential for children to take part in others activities along with studies.

To begin with, most of the schools operating all over the world only focus on hard core primary subjects. They are still running on the same traditional methods because this is what they have learnt from the past generations. The time is changing now and we have to learn to adapt with the new modern era. It is need of the hour to teach students with enjoyable and engaging activities which actually builts their practical skills as wells. This improves their productivity overall. For example, children take part in these activities with much more interest than regular lessons. Consequently, they learn better and also have fun alongside.

It is also important for children to play as well as learn in the classroom because children get too exhaused by their hectic course of studies. It drains their minds and they lose they focus which eventually leads to poor outcomes in studies. Having playful activites in their classrooms help them unwind and refreshes their brains. For instance, when students take part in extra-curricular activities, they come back with more charged energies which helps them focus better in studies as well. Morever, taking part in physical sports and activities is beneficial for their physical as well as mental health.

In conclusion, schools should include engaging and fun activities for children along their core subjects as it helps them learn better and increase their productivity.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you strongly agree that primary schools give too much attention to formal study, and you also explain why play matters. The points about practical skills, children’s interest, concentration, and physical and mental health are relevant. This covers both questions, but the two parts are not equally developed: the first paragraph makes broad claims about traditional teaching without a specific example, while the discussion of play gives clearer effects but still relies on general statements. To strengthen the response, explain what classroom play might look like and develop one concrete example of how it supports learning. Your conclusion restates your view, though it could more directly summarise both the need to reduce overemphasis on formal study and the value of play.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, two body paragraphs with distinct purposes, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “To begin with,” “For example,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the argument, and the ideas generally progress from formal learning to the benefits of play. This is a coherent structure, though some linking is mechanical and a few references are unclear. For example, “they lose they focus” makes the reference to children less smooth, and “these activities” could refer to several different activities. Use a wider range of natural links and make pronoun references explicit. You could also connect the two body paragraphs more clearly by showing how play complements, rather than replaces, core learning.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range for the topic, including phrases such as “practical skills,” “engaging activities,” “poor outcomes,” and “physical as well as mental health.” These choices communicate the main ideas, and attempts at more specific vocabulary show some range. However, several word-choice, collocation, word-form, and spelling errors reduce precision: “school curriculars,” “hard core primary subjects,” “builts,” “exhaused,” and “charged energies” are not natural or accurate in context. “Extra-curricular activities” may also be less precise than classroom play when discussing activities during lessons. Aim for standard collocations and check spelling and word forms; this would make the argument sound more fluent and exact.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a reason clause in “because children get too…” and a relative clause in “activities which actually…”. Most sentences remain understandable, and the errors do not generally prevent the reader from following your argument. Some grammatical problems do, however, affect accuracy: “they lose they focus” has an incorrect pronoun, “activities … help them unwind and refreshes their brains” has faulty agreement, and “which helps them focus” does not agree with the plural subject “energies.” There are also awkward sentence patterns, such as “It is need of the hour to teach students with…”. Review subject–verb agreement, pronouns, and clause construction, while continuing to use varied sentence structures.

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