Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is a topic of discussion that formal education has been the main focus of primary schools. I certainly agree with this statement as there has been a shift in how children are taught in school in recent years compared to a few years back.

Nowadays, children complain significantly more about not wanting to go to school. No one enjoys going to school. However, there could be something wrong within the systems in schools that drives students into hating it even more. Back then, primary schools were known for how teachers made learning fun and interactive for children. For instance, math lessons were taught using different methods such as pictures and items. Children are more likely to interact with such teaching methods rather than sitting for hours in front of textbooks. Looking at the teaching methods now, it is obvious that a shift has occured. The academic program has become more dense and students are expected to understand heavier contents at younger ages. Teachers are less likely to incorporate fun methods in order to finish the yearly program on time.

In primary school, children are at a stage in which playing is more important than learning. Therefore, education should be catered around being more interactive and playful. Playing should certainly not be the main focus in the classroom. However, the sole focus on formal teaching methods like teaching from the whiteboard and textbooks directly, should also not be adapted. So, a perfect balance between both would create a beautiful environment in which children can enjoy learning.

In conclusion, schools should focus on making learning fun for children at that age. I support the idea that primary schools are more focused on formal education methods.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you agree that primary schools give too much attention to formal education, and you also address the importance of play by arguing for a balance. The example of using pictures and objects in maths lessons helps illustrate how learning can be engaging. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained. For example, “children are at a stage in which playing is more important than learning” is a broad claim, and you could explain how play supports development or learning. The claim that children complain more about school also needs clearer support or qualification. You cover both questions, but developing these ideas with specific reasons and examples would make the response more complete and persuasive.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure, moving from your position to reasons, then to the role of play and a conclusion. Paragraphs generally have a central focus, and linking expressions such as “For instance,” “Therefore,” and “In conclusion” help guide the reader. This gives the essay a coherent progression. At times, however, connections between claims could be more explicit: the opening moves from agreement to a general observation about changing teaching methods without explaining the link in detail. “No one enjoys going to school” also interrupts the argument and sits uneasily beside the more qualified point that school systems may discourage students. Use transitions to show how each example supports your position, and make references such as “it” in “hating it” more precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary to discuss schooling, including “formal education,” “interactive,” “academic program,” and “incorporate.” These choices make your main ideas clear, and you attempt some more specific phrasing, such as “heavier contents.” However, several expressions are imprecise or unnatural, which limits the flexibility and accuracy of the vocabulary. “The academic program has become more dense” and “finish the yearly program” could be expressed more naturally, while “beautiful environment” is vague for an academic argument. There is also a spelling error in “occured.” Aim for precise collocations and avoid broad or conversational claims when a more measured phrase would strengthen your argument.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including subordinate clauses such as “as there has been a shift…” and “in which children can enjoy learning.” Most sentences are understandable, and errors rarely obstruct your meaning. Some grammatical choices nevertheless reduce accuracy. In “the sole focus … should also not be adapted,” the passive construction does not clearly express the intended idea; a direct active construction would be clearer. The sentence beginning “Playing should certainly not be the main focus” also has an unnecessary comma before “should.” In addition, “a stage in which playing is more important than learning” would be more naturally framed with “when.” Continue varying sentence structures, while checking punctuation and whether each clause expresses the intended relationship.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.