Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Primary school education plays a pivotal role in the development of young ones. Some people believe that primary schools focus too much on book learning. While in my opinion both playing and learning play an important role in shaping the society . I partially agree with this opinion, because school education plays an important role in shaping the society.

In modern age , school should provide both learning and playing to the students . Because when they play it boost their confidence and communication skills . They take part in sports like cricket , badminton , hockey , table-tennis . In this way they built competition among them. They get a chance to become professional sportsman . They follow their dreams .

On the other hand , school learning also very crucial for there professional goals . Because if they want to become Doctor, Engineer, Lawyer , IT Professional , it becomes impossible if they do not focus on their studies . Therefore , In my opinion schools should focus on both activities . They should fix a timetable for both activities. Like a break during lectures , in which they spent a time playing and doing other physical activities.

Therefore in conclusion , I strongly believe that their is equality in both playing and learning.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both parts of the question and give a position: you partially agree that formal learning receives too much attention and argue that play and study should both be included. Relevant points include play developing confidence and communication, and academic study supporting future careers. However, the position is not fully clear: the opening says both are important, while the conclusion claims there is “equality” without explaining whether schools currently overemphasise formal learning. The examples are listed rather than developed, and the benefits of play are not connected to classroom learning in much detail. The response is also 34 words below the required minimum, which limits the space available to explain and support your ideas. Develop each main point with a specific example and a clearer explanation of your view.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph about play, a paragraph about academic learning, and a conclusion. The contrast signalled by “On the other hand” helps readers follow the shift between the two sides. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes weak, and several sentences begin with “Because” or “Therefore,” making the links feel mechanical. For example, the list of sports is followed by claims about competition and professional careers without showing how one leads to the next. The conclusion repeats the general idea rather than drawing the discussion together. Use clearer topic sentences, connect each example explicitly to its point, and vary linking methods so the argument develops more smoothly.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of topic vocabulary, including “confidence,” “communication skills,” “professional goals,” and names of sports. These choices make the main ideas understandable, and phrases such as “pivotal role” show an attempt to use more formal language. However, the range is limited and some word choices or collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “built competition among them,” “school learning,” and “there professional goals.” Repetition of “important” and “play” also reduces variety. Aim for more precise expressions and check word forms and spelling; for example, describe how games “foster healthy competition” and refer to “academic learning” or “future career goals.” This would make your ideas clearer and more natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You communicate your main points using mostly short, simple sentences, and you attempt some longer structures, such as “because if they want to become…” However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make parts of the response less smooth. Examples include the sentence fragment “Because when they play it boost…,” missing verbs in “school learning also very crucial,” and agreement errors such as “it boost” and “their is.” There are also problems with articles, plurals, and punctuation, including inconsistent spaces before commas and full stops. Practise building complete sentences with accurate subject–verb agreement, and combine related ideas using controlled clauses. Proofreading for sentence boundaries and basic agreement would improve clarity.

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