Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is widely believed that early school education should focus more on formal learning.I totally disagree with it because it is essential for a children to play while learning due to the fact that childrens focuses more on study while playing and it helps them to get good grades as well.

Primary schools should focus more on practical learning as well as formal learning.Practical learning helps the children development as well.For example, if a teacher is teaching maths he should teach them with maths games to understand the problem better rather just focusing on formal calculations.As a result children focuses more and understand better the maths problem.

Playing while learning is very essential for a children because at an early age of development playing plays a crucial role in sharpening the children's mind.Most of the children get frustrated and unable to focus on the studies because playing is not involved their mind is not processing well.For instance, teachers adding different fun activites while teaching the children, children now pickup the lecture without any difficulty.As a result, children scores better grades.

In conclusion, primary schools should focus on fun activites so the children can be more active and learns well without any anxiety.It is very essential for children to play as well as learn in the school because it can make them healthy, sharp and stress free from the burden of studies.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you disagree that primary schools should focus too much on formal learning, and you explain that play can support attention, understanding and children’s development. The maths-games example is relevant, and you address both the balance between formal and practical learning and the importance of play. However, several points are asserted rather than fully explained—for example, the claim that play leads to better grades could be supported with a clearer explanation or a specific example. The response is also 221 words, 29 words below the required minimum; the 10 words copied from the prompt were not counted. This limits the space available to develop your reasons and examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. Each body paragraph focuses on a related point, and linking phrases such as “For example,” “As a result” and “In conclusion” help show relationships between ideas. However, progression is somewhat repetitive: the ideas that play improves focus and grades recur in both body paragraphs and the conclusion without much further development. Some connections are also unclear, particularly “because playing is not involved their mind is not processing well,” where the relationship between the ideas is difficult to follow. To improve, give each paragraph a distinct main point, explain it in sequence, and use clearer referencing rather than repeating the same result.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant set of words for the topic, including “formal learning,” “practical learning,” “development,” “sharpening” and “anxiety.” These choices make your main ideas understandable, and phrases such as “plays a crucial role” show an attempt to use more developed vocabulary. However, the range is limited and several expressions are repeated, especially “children,” “playing” and “focus.” Some word choices or collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “children focuses more on study” and “pickup the lecture,” which reduce naturalness. Spelling errors in “activites” and “childrens” also affect accuracy. Build a wider range of precise education-related expressions and check spelling and collocations when editing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple sentences and longer sentences with reasons and examples, using structures such as “because” and “if.” This gives the response some variety, and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, the range is limited, and complex sentences are often faulty. Examples include “it is essential for a children,” “childrens focuses,” “children scores,” and “learns well,” which show recurring problems with articles, plurals and subject–verb agreement. Sentence boundaries and punctuation also need attention: several sentences run together after full stops without spaces, and the opening has no space after “learning.” Practise checking each sentence’s subject and verb, and use a wider range of accurately controlled sentence patterns.

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