Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

This assertion that mostly primary schools are focusing on formal study to children instead they should add some other learning skills such as playing and experimental works in the primary school classroom.

First and most, there are two main reasons firstly that primary schools are studying to childrens in gerneral way, from which mostly parents are unhappy with their study environment like no other skills, maybe parents will notice their children as they have no other knowledge about another learning skills, so that is why they blamed to schools to create another skills. in my opinion like why schools are focus on formal education because this is a startup for especially primary childrens and might after when they understand each and everything behind knowledge so they would be add extra skills. but schools should add some other skills which prepared children to the next stage.

On the second side of this investigation, parents are blamed to schools that their children have not extra knowledge about things. while i think schools should add another skill like play or art bese assignments, or some other skills like experiments with music, pottery in the classroom, and this change could happy children with their study also to broader their IQ and also it would creates healthy habits in children.

In the conclusion, to focus only on formal study from primary school, which maybe is not a good decision, they must add extra skill like art and sport base which make fun with study. Furthermore, it create desires in children to win also make healthy habits, and make able to how to mange their life, and i think parents are also happy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both parts of the question by discussing formal study and arguing that play, art, sport and practical activities should also be included. Your position is broadly that schools should not focus only on formal learning, although the opening suggests that schools may reasonably prioritise it at first, so your degree of agreement is not fully clear. Relevant examples such as music, pottery and experiments help make your suggestions concrete. However, several points remain general: the claims that these activities broaden children’s “IQ” and create healthy habits are not explained or supported with a specific example. State your position consistently and develop one or two reasons in more detail, showing how play supports children’s learning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has an identifiable introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the reader can follow its broad movement from formal study to alternative activities. However, progression within paragraphs is often difficult to track. The first body paragraph combines parents’ concerns, your view of formal education and a recommendation without clearly separating these ideas. Linking phrases such as “First and most,” “On the second side” and “Furthermore” are either awkward or do not clearly show the relationship between points. References such as “this change” and “this investigation” are also vague. Organise each paragraph around one main point, then explain it and give an example; use simpler, more accurate transitions and clearer references.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “formal education,” “classroom,” “experiments,” “pottery” and “healthy habits,” and you attempt to express ideas beyond basic learning. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations make meaning unclear, such as “studying to childrens,” “create another skills” and “art bese assignments.” Spelling errors, including “gerneral,” “childrens” and “mange,” also reduce accuracy. Aim to learn topic-specific phrases in context, such as “hands-on activities” and “creative subjects,” and check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise vocabulary would help you explain the benefits of play without relying on broad phrases such as “extra knowledge.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including clauses introduced by “because” and “which,” but complex sentences are often difficult to follow because their structure is incomplete or poorly controlled. For example, “This assertion that mostly primary schools are focusing…” lacks a clear main clause, while “it would creates healthy habits” combines an incorrect modal construction with a verb-form error. There are also recurring problems with articles, plurals, agreement and sentence boundaries, as in “primary childrens” and the long, loosely joined sentences in the first body paragraph. These errors sometimes make the intended relationships unclear. Practise building accurate short sentences first, then combine them using one clear subordinate clause at a time; check subject–verb agreement and verb forms.

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