Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent years, it is argued by some people primary schools focus too much on formal learning. While some people believe that children should focus on academic learning, but I believe that children should have to maintain the balance between extra co-circular activities and academic learning. This essay will explain the main reasons for my position.

To begin with, I believed that if students will remain in one place, they may become the patients of stress and many other brain related problems like epilepsy. In this condition, students loose their consciousness and owing to this sometimes their brain regain consciousness after 12 hours. Because of stress, undergraduates have to take proper diet and medicine for 5 years to far away from this condition. In addition, if students will keep reading books all the time then they will loose their time of creativity. For instance, sometimes teachers give too much homework for completion but students wanted to participate in paintings and drawing which can develop creative thinking.

Furthermore, sports and games play an important role in different parts of life. Children will interact with different which helps in better communication teamwork. To illustrate that, there are 11 members in cricket team. If we play cricket, we have to play with proper teamwork. It also increase ability to interact with people. Moreover, sports keep us medically fit. For example, if we play badminton it plays an important role to improve blood circulation which helps in breathing and increase heart rate. Therefore, we do not have to compromise with sports. We have to manage both things together.

To sum up, I firmly believe that if we study all the time then we may have mental problems and if we play all the time then we will the exam. Therefore, we have to manage both things.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is generally clear: you support balancing academic learning with activities, and you address both the risks of excessive formal study and the value of play. The examples about drawing, cricket and badminton help make your points relevant. However, the response only partly develops the task. The discussion of epilepsy and a lengthy recovery is unclear and not convincingly connected to primary-school learning, while the benefits of play are mostly asserted rather than explained in relation to classroom learning. The conclusion repeats the need for balance but does not add a developed final reason. To strengthen the response, explain more directly how classroom play supports children’s learning and give focused, credible examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. Paragraphs broadly group related ideas, and signposts such as “To begin with,” “Furthermore” and “To sum up” make the stages easy to identify. However, progression within paragraphs is uneven: the first moves from stress to epilepsy, recovery, homework and creativity without clearly linking each point. Some connections are also incomplete, as in “Children will interact with different,” where the reader cannot tell what “different” refers to. Repeated transitions and “For example”/“To illustrate” make cohesion somewhat mechanical. Build each paragraph around one main claim, then explain and support it in a clear sequence, using precise references between sentences.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “formal learning,” “creative thinking,” “teamwork,” “blood circulation” and “compromise.” There are also attempts to use more specific terms, such as “undergraduates” and “consciousness,” but these are not appropriate or accurate in context: the essay concerns primary-school children, and the description of losing and regaining consciousness is confusing. Several noticeable word-choice, collocation and spelling errors reduce precision, including “co-circular activities,” “patients of stress,” “loose” for “lose,” and “we will the exam.” Some phrases are also vague, such as “different parts of life.” Aim for accurate, natural combinations and choose vocabulary that directly expresses your intended meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mixture of simple sentences and longer clauses, using structures such as “if” clauses and “which” clauses. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make some ideas difficult to follow. For example, “While some people believe …, but I believe” combines two contrasting structures; “if students will remain” uses an unsuitable verb form after “if”; and “Children will interact with different which helps” lacks a clear grammatical object and has agreement problems. There are also errors in verb forms and agreement in “It also increase” and “if we study … then we may have.” Practise forming clear conditional sentences and checking subject–verb agreement, tense, and sentence boundaries before adding more complex clauses.

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