Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

some people argue that primary schools pay heed too much on formal learning, I totally agreed with opinion because children learn many of the habits in their primary session by formal learning is that its build their academic foundation and social interaction or discipline also.

First of all formal learning in the primary schools also build the academic foundation of the children. By this, they gave more attention on the several subjects. In addition, children gave more attention on their majors subjects. For example, English, scienceor mathematics etc. Academic foundation is very important for the children to become a good student or professional person in their future life. futhermore, a student had a academic foundation in their primary level,they would had more special and professional impact on their future studies. so the academic base of every student is very important

on the other hand, formal learning also teach the children to the social interaction and discipline. As we know, both of the points has very greatfull impact on our daily life so it is very important to children to be a punctual and have the social interactions also. Discipline taught the students to care the time and how to behave in thier calssrooms and in the house also. for instance, the social interactions taught them to the various components like group working or settle their behave in the soceity.

In conclusion, formal learning is very imporatnt for primary school children. at this age, children also play in their leisure time but in the school time they focus on their formal education. As the outdoor activities is important for children mental health, education has also a positive impact on their future life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

Your position is clear: you agree that formal learning receives too much emphasis, and you give relevant reasons about academic foundations, discipline and social interaction. However, the response mainly explains why formal learning matters rather than showing that schools focus on it too much. The second question—how important play is alongside learning in the classroom—is only briefly touched on in the conclusion, where you mention leisure and outdoor activities. This leaves a central part of the task minimally addressed, and the supporting examples remain general rather than illustrating your argument. To strengthen the response, explain what children gain from classroom play and how schools could balance it with formal lessons, then support that view with a specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs signalled by “First of all” and “on the other hand,” and a conclusion. The paragraphs generally keep to related themes, so the reader can follow the broad direction of your argument. However, progression is limited because both body paragraphs largely list benefits of formal learning, and the contrast implied by “on the other hand” is not developed. Some links are repetitive or unclear, such as repeated references to “academic foundation” and the transition from social interaction to discipline. Organise the body around distinct answers to the prompt—formal learning and the value of play—and use linking phrases to show how each point supports your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “academic foundation,” “social interaction,” “discipline,” and “outdoor activities,” which helps communicate the subject of the essay. However, the range is limited and several phrases are inaccurate or unnatural, sometimes making the intended meaning less clear. Examples include “pay heed too much on formal learning,” “majors subjects,” and “settle their behave in the soceity.” Spelling errors such as “futhermore,” “imporatnt,” and “calssrooms” also reduce accuracy. Build a more precise set of expressions for discussing classroom learning and play, and check collocations and spelling. For instance, use “place too much emphasis on,” “core subjects,” and “behave appropriately in society.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, including a conditional structure in “if a student had a academic foundation … they would had…”. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence boundaries occur frequently enough to make reading difficult in places. Examples include “I totally agreed,” “formal learning … build,” “both of the points has,” and “they would had.” Several sentences also run together or begin with lowercase letters after full stops, which weakens punctuation control. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and past or conditional forms, and keep sentence structures manageable. For example: “A strong academic foundation in primary school can support children in later studies.”

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