Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

In recent years, there has been growing concern about primary schools that they devote more attention to formal learning. I firmly agree with the statement because primary schools pay much more focus on extra co curricular activities and students are engaged with other enjoyable activities.

To begin with, first and foremost factor why children are provided with other physical activities rather than academic activities is that syllabus nowadays is boring for standard level students. In addition, children admitted in kindergarten are likely to be of age 3 or 4 years and they think the academic syllabus is boring.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

Your response shows a clear position in the opening: “I firmly agree,” and it begins to give a reason by saying that young children may find academic work boring. However, it does not adequately answer either part of the question. The claim that schools focus too much on formal learning is not supported with a clear explanation or example, and the second question—how important play is alongside learning—is not directly addressed. The response also ends before developing its ideas and is 152 words below the required minimum. To improve, explain your view of the balance between lessons and play, develop each reason, and include a relevant example from a classroom or your experience.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an introductory statement is followed by a paragraph beginning “To begin with,” and “In addition” signals another point. These markers show an awareness of how to connect ideas. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the first paragraph says schools give more attention to formal learning, then claims they focus on extracurricular activities, without explaining how these ideas fit together. The second paragraph also repeats the idea that academic work is boring rather than extending it. Use separate paragraphs for your position and each main reason, and make the relationship between claims explicit with clear explanations and examples.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “formal learning,” “co curricular activities,” “academic activities,” and “syllabus.” This gives the response a basic range for discussing schooling. However, several phrases are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “pay much more focus,” “first and foremost factor,” and “standard level students.” “Enjoyable activities” is also broad and does not specify what children do. These choices sometimes make your meaning less precise. Aim to learn common word partnerships and use specific terms, such as “place greater emphasis on,” “a key reason,” and “children of primary-school age.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a sentence with “because” and one beginning “In addition.” The main ideas are generally understandable, but grammatical control is uneven. For example, “there has been growing concern about primary schools that they devote” has an awkward clause structure; “the first and foremost factor why” does not form a correct grammatical pattern; and “children admitted in kindergarten are likely to be of age 3 or 4 years” contains problems with the participle and age expression. Practise building clear clauses with accurate connectors, articles, and prepositions. For instance, write “There is growing concern that primary schools devote…” and “children who attend kindergarten are usually three or four years old.”

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