Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some Individuals consider that formal learning is a main target of primary schools. I strongly believe that it is essential for young youth to participate in the sports whilst learning in the classroom. In this essay, I'll discuss why it is important for children's to play and learn together.

One of the main argument is that many primary institutes are just focus on the daily homework of children, they don't pay attention to their physical training and sports.

For instance, playing is not allowed in many of the primary schools and they also don't have the proper space for kids to play and enjoy. However, some institutes have a dedicated play area which I think is a fundamental component for every kids school.

Secondly, it is beneficial for young students to take brake from their studies and play with friends and family members. Playing with others is the best way to engage and make new friends. For example, learning as well as playing in the schools help kids to improve their formal and non-formal learning.

On the other hand, some people think formal learning is more important for the kids in their primary schools. Because kids have to pay more attention on their studies instead of other activities.

To concule, it is crucial for the young youth to play and learn in their institutes to perform well in the their future with good health and better fitness. As the positives of this outraced its challenges

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You take a clear general position in favour of combining play with learning, and you give relevant reasons, including socialising with peers and the value of a dedicated play area. However, the response addresses the two questions only partially: it does not explain in much detail whether primary schools focus too heavily on formal learning, and the benefits of classroom play are asserted rather than developed with a specific example. The opposing view is mentioned, but “kids have to pay more attention on their studies” is not explored or weighed against your position. The conclusion repeats your view without resolving this balance. The response is also five words below the required minimum, so there was limited space to develop the ideas. Explain each part of the prompt more fully and support claims with concrete examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable essay structure, with an introduction, two supporting paragraphs, a counterargument and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “One of the main argument,” “Secondly” and “On the other hand” help signal the stages of your discussion. However, progression between ideas is sometimes unclear: the first body paragraph moves from homework to restrictions on play and then to play areas without fully explaining their connection. The second paragraph introduces taking a break, friendship and learning outcomes, but these points are not linked in a developed sequence. Some linking is mechanical, and the final sentence, “As the positives of this outraced its challenges,” is left as a fragment. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each example directly to the point it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of relevant vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “physical training,” “dedicated play area” and “non-formal learning,” so the topic is generally clear. There are also noticeable word-choice, collocation and spelling problems that make some phrases awkward or less precise. For example, “young youth” is redundant, “take brake” is an inaccurate phrase, and “perform well in the their future” is not a natural expression. “Outraced” appears to be an incorrect choice in the conclusion, and “institutes” is less suitable than “schools” in this context. These errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the main position, but they limit precision. Build accuracy by learning common word partnerships and checking spelling and word forms before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrast introduced by “However” and a reason introduced by “Because.” Nevertheless, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to affect clarity. Examples include “One of the main argument is,” where the noun and verb do not agree, and “many primary institutes are just focus,” which has an incorrect verb construction. In “it is essential for young youth to participate,” the later reference to “children's” is grammatically incorrect; the sentence should use “children” without an apostrophe. There are also problems with articles, plurals and sentence boundaries, including the fragment beginning “Because kids have to…” and the incomplete final sentence. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and complete sentences before adding more complex structures.

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