Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowdays,education plays an important roles in children's lives.It is very important for every child to get education in this age. Otherwise, they cannot get admission in higher secondary schools witthout basic education.But now primary schools should be focus on physical activities o the childrens because it makes childrens do more focus on their studies. We know study is more important but health is more important than anything.

Firstly, formal education helps children that how they can build their future or career.And also builds confidence in childrens that how they can communicate with each other.They can also learn basic skills from their education that how they can earn money and make themselves financially stable in the future.In this age,everyperson are educated and their education are also helping to pursue their degrees. For example; if they do not know the basic skills then they are unable to get their jobs in any company.

On the other hand,i would say that physical activities are also crucial for childrens health.It is basic needs of children that makes them very strong and brave.For example,if formal schools are not focusing on the physical activities then childrens cannot focus on their studies and they always feels lazzy,So,lazzines can be vanish by helding physical activities in schools.

In conclusion, i would say thay formal schools are very important. But if formal schools do focus on physical activities then they could balance both academic learning and playing activities.And children also feels fresh FOR every time and they can do more focus on their studies.So, it is very crucial to play as well as learn in primary schools.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both parts of the question: you discuss the value of formal education and argue that physical activity should also be included. Your position is clearest in the conclusion, where you support balancing learning and play. However, the opening says schools “should be focus on physical activities,” while later you stress the importance of formal education, so your degree of agreement with the claim that schools focus too much on formal learning is not consistently clear. Several points are asserted rather than explained: for instance, you say activity helps children focus and feel fresh, but do not show how classroom play could achieve this or give a specific example. State your position directly and develop each main reason with a clearer explanation or relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for academic learning and physical activity, and a conclusion. “Firstly” and “On the other hand” help signal the shift between these topics. However, the progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow because several ideas are joined without clear relationships. The first paragraph moves from access to secondary school to physical activity and health without explaining the connection. Repeated use of “And also” and “For example” makes linking mechanical, while the conclusion repeats earlier claims rather than drawing them together. Organise each body paragraph around one main point, then explain it and add a specific example; use referencing and transitions to show how the ideas connect.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a basic range of relevant vocabulary, including “formal education,” “physical activities,” “basic skills,” and “financially stable,” so the main topic is generally understandable. However, vocabulary is often repetitive, especially “children,” “focus,” and “important,” and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, such as “do more focus,” “laziness can be vanish,” and “helding physical activities.” Spelling errors such as “Nowdays,” “witthout,” and “lazzy” also reduce accuracy and can distract the reader. Build a more precise range for discussing classroom learning and play, and check spelling and word forms carefully. For example, use “concentrate better” rather than “do more focus,” and “organise physical activities” rather than “helding physical activities.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including explanations with “because” and conditional clauses beginning “if.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to read. Examples include “primary schools should be focus,” “everyperson are educated,” and “children cannot focus … and they always feels,” which show problems with verb forms and subject–verb agreement. Articles, plurals, and sentence boundaries are also unreliable: “in this age” and “For example; if” illustrate patterns that need editing. Practise building accurate sentences with one main clause and a supporting clause, then check agreement and verb forms. Greater accuracy in these structures would make your ideas clearer and allow your attempts at complex sentences to work more effectively.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.