Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The issue of that some people agrue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning is widely debated in this contemporary world.

Firstly, i totaly agreed with this statment that primary schools are focused on only formal learning and not in others learnings. They have to prepare childrens about other languages from their primary schools, because it will be beneficial for them. And also parents have to ask school managment about these things, however they have the right to speak up for their childrens best future. And also the managment of school have to take actions on these problems, however the students who are studying in primary school are more confident in their work.

Secondly, Governments should also take action on these problems they have to ask schools to implement on these problems. Primary schools student must know about other learnings not only formal learning. It will be beneficial for their future jobs etc.If they learn and also play it will be very helpful for their health, however their mind will be fresh whole. The games which should have play the students is chase because playing chase can sharp their minds and if their minds are sharper then automatically their studies will go well and also their behaviour in class will be changed.

In conclusion, childrens should play as well as learn in the primary school classroom i agreed with this statment because i will be very helpful for them in their future studies. Schools have to adopt these enviroments in their classrooms.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You give a clear overall view that you agree children should play as well as learn, especially in the conclusion, and you mention possible benefits for health, concentration and behaviour. However, the response only partly addresses both questions: it does not explain in a focused way whether formal learning is excessive, and several points about parents, school management and government action are not developed or clearly linked to the question. The example of playing chase is relevant, but its effect on learning is asserted rather than explained. The response is 235 words, so it is 15 words below the required minimum; the 19 words copied from the prompt are not included in that count. Develop two or three relevant reasons and support them with clearer examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic essay shape, with an opening, two body paragraphs signalled by “Firstly” and “Secondly”, and a conclusion. This gives the reader some sense of organisation. However, there is no clear progression from the claim that formal learning is overemphasised to the discussion of play, and several ideas are placed together without explaining their relationship. The repeated use of “And also” and “however” does not always show the intended connection; for example, the point about school management is followed by a claim about students’ confidence. Paragraphs would be more coherent if each developed one main idea, with linking phrases used only where their logical relationship is clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some vocabulary relevant to education and child development, including “formal learning”, “beneficial”, “confident” and “behaviour”. These choices make the general topic understandable. However, the range is limited and several phrases are inaccurate or awkward, which sometimes makes the intended meaning unclear: “other learnings”, “implement on these problems” and “their mind will be fresh whole” are examples. Spelling errors such as “agrue”, “statment” and “enviroments” also reduce accuracy. Aim to learn common word partnerships for this topic and check spelling and word forms. More precise expressions would help you explain the contrast between academic instruction and play-based learning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple sentences and longer sentences joined with words such as “because” and “if”, so there is some effort to vary sentence structure. The main ideas can generally be followed, but errors are frequent, and complex sentences are often not controlled successfully. For example, “Firstly, i totaly agreed” has an incorrect subject capitalisation and verb form, while “They have to prepare childrens about other languages” has problems with the verb pattern and plural form. In “If they learn and also play it will be very helpful for their health”, the conditional clause needs clearer punctuation and a more precise subject. Practise accurate sentence patterns and check agreement, verb forms, articles and punctuation when editing.

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