Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent time, inhabitant debate about primary school always prioties in formal learning only. while some indivduals believes that educational instituion also shoul add some extra curriculum besides academic studies. I strongly strogly agree and believe that institution also should introduce some entertainment curriculum like indoor games and outdoor game with studies.

On the one hand, nowadays educational institution only focus on children academic syllabus only. As an example, the teachers always gave homeworks and focus on their syllabus in the classroom. In the result the teachers doesn't connect much with a student due to it. Also the minors can't enjoy their holidays much cause the instructors usually gives many homework in the holiday period. Because of that children can't develop their mind in extra curriculm activities which is very much alarming for the future.

However, school is the best root of a child to learn moral values while studying. In details we can say that if institution introduce some of new extra curriculum like playing indoor game. As an example, like chess. Which will help to increase the problem solving skill of a child, Furthermore, by playing games the teachers also can taught the student about moral values. For instance, if they play a drama role about family they will aware about the what is the relations in the family. Nevertheless, it can also taught them how to respect their elders.

To Conclude, I agree that children should be taught academic while adding some extra curriculm in their daily classroom. Which will help them in near future.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you strongly agree that primary schools should combine formal study with activities such as games. You address both the emphasis on formal learning and the value of play, with relevant examples including chess and drama. The explanation that chess can develop problem-solving and group activities can teach respect gives the response a sound basis. However, the first body paragraph mainly describes homework and limited teacher contact, without fully explaining how these show that schools focus too heavily on formal learning. The discussion of play is also more developed than the argument about the extent of the problem. To strengthen the response, explain the effects of excessive academic focus and develop a specific classroom example showing how play supports learning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs and a conclusion. Transitions such as “On the one hand,” “However,” and “To Conclude” help signal the direction of the argument. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow: the point about homework leads to limited teacher connection and then to children’s holidays without clearly linking these ideas. Some linking phrases are also used mechanically, and sentence fragments such as “Which will help them in near future” interrupt the flow. Make each paragraph develop one central point in a clear sequence, and connect examples explicitly to the claim they support. Clearer referencing and complete sentences would make the overall argument easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “academic syllabus,” “problem solving skill,” and “moral values.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, and terms such as “indoor games” and “drama” provide concrete examples. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, spelling and collocation errors make the writing less natural, including “inhabitant debate,” “extra curriculum,” “best root,” and “in the result.” Repetition of “institution,” “children,” and “games” also limits flexibility. Aim to learn common academic collocations and check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise expressions would help you explain the educational benefits of play without relying on repeated general terms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “while,” “because,” and “if.” This allows you to express reasons and examples, but control is inconsistent. Errors in agreement and verb forms appear in sentences such as “some individuals believes” and “the teachers doesn't connect”; the conditional example “if institution introduce” also needs a correctly formed subject and verb. There are also sentence-boundary problems, for example “As an example, like chess. Which will help…” and the fragment beginning “Which will help them” in the conclusion. Practise subject–verb agreement, articles and complete sentence construction, then proofread punctuation. More accurate control of these patterns would make your ideas clearer.

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