Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is often argued that primary school concentrate much on formal education.I tollay agree with opinion due to the fact that,from my prospect academic activites are neccesary as well as non academic.

On the one hand, primary school focouses much on formal education it is excellent thought but it also has consequences such as; puplis will be unware of team work, unity, and acheivieng goals win and lost.Academic activites are curical but non academic activites are also plays a vital role in puplis lives by which pupils are more confident toward their activites rather it is educatinal or supports,Games plays and important role in learner life by playing games they are able to less their stress as many students who take academic stress is a kind of thearpy for them to less their stress by refreshing their minds.

On the other hand,When a student is physically fit he will be able to focpus on his studies it is done when a student take part in supports by playing football,cricket and numerous other games which requrie hard work and running it will be proved benefical for them to focous on their studies more effectiently for example; if a student is physcially sit in class but he is mentally absent he is unable to focous on studies but if he managing both his academic and non academic activites he will be able to done his task as a champion rather than faliure

In concuslion,as academic activites education is necessary for students non academic activites are also necessary for students for their physical and mental health by this they will be able to focous on their studies effeciently.Games are important due to the fact that they are able to know the important of unity, particullay games which requrie members furthermore,students are able to get importance of teamwork,harmoney and brotherhood

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both parts of the question and maintain a generally clear position: formal learning matters, but play and non-academic activities are also important. Relevant reasons include teamwork, confidence, stress relief and physical fitness, and the examples of football and cricket help connect play with classroom focus. However, the discussion of whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning is less fully developed than the explanation of why play is beneficial. Some claims, such as games helping pupils achieve goals or perform “as a champion,” are not explained clearly. To strengthen the response, state more precisely what balance schools should provide and develop one or two examples to show how play supports children’s learning and development.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs signposted by “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion. The ideas are generally relevant and can be followed, particularly the progression from teamwork and stress relief to physical fitness and concentration. However, the first body paragraph combines several points in a long sequence, and the relationship between some claims is not always clear. Connectors such as “furthermore” and “rather than” do not consistently show the intended relationship, while repeated references to academic and non-academic activities make the flow somewhat mechanical. Give each paragraph a clearer central point, use shorter sentences to separate supporting explanations, and make references such as “they” unambiguous.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “formal education,” “team work,” “physically fit,” “stress,” and “unity.” There are also attempts at more specific language, such as “mentally absent” and “teamwork,” which help convey your ideas. However, spelling errors and inaccurate word choices are noticeable and sometimes make the reader pause: examples include “tollay,” “prospect,” “supports,” and “thearpy.” Some combinations are also unnatural, such as “less their stress” and “games plays an important role.” The repeated use of “activities,” “students,” and “games” limits variety. Build a reliable set of topic vocabulary and check spelling, word forms, and collocations so that your meaning is expressed more precisely.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses beginning with “when” and “if,” and you use linking structures such as “by playing games.” This shows an effort to express cause and effect. However, many sentences contain errors in sentence boundaries, agreement, articles, and verb forms, which sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “primary school concentrate” needs subject–verb agreement, and “Games plays” has the same problem. The sentence beginning “On the one hand” runs several ideas together without clear punctuation, while “he will be able to done his task” has an incorrect verb pattern. Practise building shorter, complete sentences first, then combine them accurately using subordinate clauses and correct punctuation.

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